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Fat and Fallible no More!

Saturday, March 14, 2020

Have you ever had a catastrophe in your life--.-like the death of a loved one, a divorce, a major
illness or surgery and you couldn't even look at food....and the weight "fell off" almost effortlessly. Three years ago, my mom died and I lost close to 50lbs. And three weeks ago my hip dislocated and this involved going for a half a week with it remaining out of the socket and in indescribable pain...before emergency surgery could be done. I had no appetite whatsoever..and in those five days without food I lost close to ten pounds, added to my pursued weight loss here on Spark it brought me to the verge of a 50 lbs loss.

These losses are the silver lining in the cloud.. But if you are like me, they do not last. I regained the 50 lbs of grief loss over the subsequent months and now, out of the hospital at dad's,am experiencing a resurgence of appetite and I am afraid to weigh myself tomorrow. (and I skipped today). But I have resumed tracking....two weeks ago and I had a hard time ingesting 300 calories a day....now I eat more than that in one meal.

It doesn't have to be this way!! Beth and I talked about it and she said it can be held onto (the weight loss) and needn't be considered to be something outside of my control. Maybe I just need to wrap my mind around it and embrace it as being fully mine.

I just ate too much lunch. I'm feeling sick and bloated and angry at myself. I have to remind myself that one error doesn't mean I am on a downhill slide of failure. Rather it can be positive. FEEL how uncomfortable it is to be too full! Use that feeling to avoid repeating the mistake...; and then forgive yourself---you are human and fallible. But you do NOT have to be fat and fallible!! It is up to you to choose to learn from the past. It is up to you to blaze a new path. It is up to you to draw a line in the sand and to refuse to cross it. You have got this! Just grab hold and refuse to let go!
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