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what you say and do matters

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

I didn’t want to write this blog, but I had to let my emotions out. I posted a picture on Sunday that was taken back in January. I’m wearing a cute hat, that I was too afraid to buy but my friends talked me into it. I’ve always loved hats, but as I gained weight and my chin rounded out I became even more self-conscious. I’ve never wanted to be a person who cares so much what other people think, but I do. In elementary school I was the chubby girl with an overbite, braces and headgear, and bangs with a bad cowlick. In middle school I wore fleece Winnie the Pooh sweatshirts to hide myself. I didn’t smile because of my braces. Thankfully I only had to wear headgear at night. I grew out my bangs but my hairdresser thinned my hair incorrectly so when it grew back I had to wear my hair in a bun for 4 months. I don’t need to tell you I was mercilessly teased. I moved to another school district, started weight watchers and thankfully my new middle school was nicer to a thinner girl without braces. By high school I developed an eating disorder. In 10th grade, a boy from my old school came and posted pictures of me in the school. Thankfully, people tore them down. In college the manager of the summer job I had posted a bad photo of me as I was walking on campus. People said horrible things about me. I was devastated. I endeavor to be a friendly person. I try to be a kind, caring, thoughtful friend. I strive to be nice to strangers. Naively, I just want to be liked. So when someone on SparkPeople commented on my photo that they posted it to twitter because people would be pea green with envy that I could accessory shop in the midst of isolation, I had a panic attack. I didn’t go to work because it worried me so much. I just want to remind you, it’s not your job to shame people. It’s not your job to judge. It’s your job as a human to either interact with kindness or do not interact at all. The words you say and things you do matter, and matter greatly. And you never know what someone has or is going through. Kindness makes a difference. So does malice. Choose wisely.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    That bully took her SparkPage offline, too. Good. She was a jerk.
    65 days ago
    I also grew up being bullied, I was the youngest of 12 and also the only girl, because my brothers bullied me without my parents helping me out, the neighbourhood kids and school kids felt free to say and do anything they wanted to me! So yes I can relate to how you felt - Take care you are worthy of love and praise from all you come in contact with. emoticon
    67 days ago
    67 days ago
  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon Lots of hateful people out there. I was always bullied in school too. If we were all perfect like these bullies??? A friend of mine likes to say it's because hurt people lash out. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    67 days ago
  • PDAWN12
    Wow people can be so mean. I wish I had been around. You sound like a kind and caring person. You would have been a great friend to someone. Thanks for sharing. You are awesome
    67 days ago
    Oh, gosh! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that! It's good that you have moved on. Let your "fierce" side remember that it's better to be respected than liked....
    67 days ago
    WOW. i was told as a kid if you can say something nice about someone say nothing i loved the pic of you in that hat it put a smile on my face you are a cute girl hold your head high and be proud of yourself
    67 days ago
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