Saturday, May 09, 2020
I got on the scale this morning and weighed 4 lbs heavier! REALLY? Four pounds! I exercise, I drink at least 8 glasses of water a day, I try to stay within my calorie zone -- never going over 100 calories. I am just so frustrated.
I was downstairs working out on my elliptical (the beast from hell, whom I have come to despise but utilized as much as my knees can take it!) for a full hour. I managed to complete 4.25 miles which is the fastest I have every done. I go upstairs feeling accomplished to find my nemesis --- a meal planned by DH. I know he loves me but he feels obligated to make meals now that he is home ALL THE TIME! I looked at what was on the menu (cheesy eggs and oatmeal with many additives such as butter, raisins, nuts, etc.) and said "I will not eat this!" I went to take a shower and asked him to make his own breakfast and I would make mine. I had 3 egg whites and 1/2 cup plain oatmeal.
He understands my frustration and honestly believes he is helping me. I see it as a passive-aggressive behavior to avoid change. I honestly believe he is uncomfortable with the changes occurring with my body. I have lost 39 pounds, dropped two sizes, and have a lot more energy. Also, he is a semi-pro athlete whose metabolism cruises as 1000 miles per hour! It's not even a story about the hare and the turtle when looking at our different metabolisms. It's more like the jet plane and the sloth! His whole family is tall and skinny. My family gains 10 pounds just walking past a bakery window.
I am down to the last 20 pounds to loose on this journey and my body is fiercely fighting me all the way. I want to be able to feel strong while doing a hard workout but I am finding I have to cut my calories even more (less than 1500-1800). I know! I know! I can hear that camp of people who believe if you don't eat enough, your body with not let go of anything. My doctor says "NO!" What and who to believe? Well......I have decided to listen to self. My body is pretty good and letting me know what it needs, so I'll start from there.
I am also not able to go to the gym which means my variety of weight lifting and cardio are greatly affected. My workout buddy (Jane) and I will begin to ride the trails as soon as it finally warms up! Today, in PA, we were at a low of 30 degrees with a wind chill factor of 20. It is suppose to warm up to 75 degrees by Friday. I will be on my bike and on the trails!