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jokes and pandemic

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

How are you connecting with friends and family during the pandemic? I live in a duplex with my brothers Kevin and Mike , and my mom. On the other side is my sis, my BIL, my nephew Ryan ,my niece Shannon, and her son and daughter. So I have allot of people around me during this time. But I do miss my niece Halley. But we have found a way to play with each other over the phone. What has the pandemic taught you to be grateful for? I learn to be more grateful for my family. I am more graceful for my job what I have keep during this period. I work as a grocery store dishwasher . So I am a essential worker. Are there things you were taking for granted? Yes, going to the store and being able to buy items, such as toilet paper, meat, paper towels, tissue and hand soap. I miss my ice cream shop.
I took my church friends for granted. I took going to Mass for granted.

jokes
THOUGHTS TO GET YOU THROUGH ANY CRISIS

• Indecision is the key to flexibility.
• There is absolutely NO substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
• Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
• Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
• Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
• The facts, although they may be interesting, are irrelevant.
• The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
• Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
• Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
• Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
• Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
• I have seen the truth and it makes no sense
• This is probably as bad as it can get, but don’t count on it.
• If you think that there’s good in everyone, you haven’t met everyone.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays
• By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone
who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two
weeks leave in which to get married.
But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get
married then ?"
"What and ruin my vacation ?" she whined.

Why did the Chicken cross the road?
Hypothetical answers from various famous people.
(author unknown)
Ralph Nader
“Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers. chickens aren’t ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.”


Dr. Seuss
“Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!”

Bill Gates
“I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.”

Ernest Hemingway
“To die. In the rain.”

Aristotle
“It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.”

Karl Marx
“It was a historical inevitability.”

Grandpa
“In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.”


Captain James T. Kirk
“To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.”





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