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At the beginning (continued)

Thursday, May 28, 2020

The last six years have been a struggle - trying to be a good and attentive dad, husband and provider, stress of a dysfunctional workplace, broken bones and joints - all contributed to my excuses for my physical decline.

After only six years, I gained the 40 pounds I previously lost and added 40 more! A week ago, I was despondent and feeling like I was out of control.

Side note: My dad, who died nine years ago, was just like this. I felt like I was inexorably repeating his mistakes.

I don't want to die with a whimper. I have a loving wife and two great young sons. I need to fully live. I need to reestablish the man I need to, want to be. For them, yes, but also for me.

So last Monday, I began by giving up alcohol completely, as I had in 2013 (this is not a screed against alcohol - it is only because of what worked for me last time). The result - better sleep and clearer eyes. Then, yesterday, I returned to Sparkpeople, I returned to the start.

I am back to truly monitoring my food. I am seeing how my choices affect my calories, which are far more than I imagined. The breakfast I have been daily eating while working from home is 5 time more calories and more fat-filled than the oatmeal I had today. The pad thai leftovers I ate for lunch costs me 2/3 the calories I should eat a day to lose weight.

Will it help? Well, the scale said ,"No," today. I gained weight. But I own that, The lovely cheese and tomato tart my wife made for dinner last night was loaded with fat and calories - cause and effect.

Today I will be better. Tomorrow I will be better. I know how to do this - I simply need to do it.

So I'm back at the beginning. No guilt, no remorse. Because I'm on my way. There's Vizzini, over there.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CKOUDSI617
    You can DO this! I have started over, hundreds of times. My latest "streak" is 60 days and counting. While you yet breathe, you get a "do-over". You are NOT alone!
    emoticon
    34 days ago
  • MAEMAE10
    Welcome back to Spark...……….

    You got this! We've all been in the same shoes as you and had to 'start over' one, two, sometimes three times.

    Best of luck on your journey! I know you'll be successful.

    Maryanne
    36 days ago
  • MAXINE001
    I love how you're ready to start a new journey! Starting is always exciting and scary at the same time. You can do it💪
    36 days ago
  • YOUCANDOITNANA
    Good for you. You can do this. You have started. That is great.
    36 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.