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Sunday, May 31, 2020

Wow, I just realized that another month is over as today is the 31st. Not working anymore and time has a strange way of passing without even noticing it.
I continue to struggle and maybe even more with this depression. It feels like past few weeks I've been more and more on edge and getting less and less done around here. I set goals daily to take care of certain rooms or the yard but, I cant explain. I just put it off for later in the day. And by the time I get around to it its tii late to start. I know it must be getting worse as my wife has been leaving me alone and mentioned the other day that I seem more unhappy.
I'm going to wreck my relationship with her if I cant pull it all together soon. I don't even sleep right at night. No matter how early or late I go to bed I wake up several times in the middle of the night. It gets hot in our room while it remains cool throughout the house. We have ceiling fans but that doesnt help either. I'm thinking about taking to my wife about hetti g a cheap( or at least an affordable ) pedestal fan from someplace like Walmart ( I'm not advertising for them). Maybe cooler and I'll sleep longer. At least I hope. The ac is set at 73* almost 24/7. After gd goes back to school from online school everyone will be gone from the house and I'll try turning the temp up to cut down the electric bill. I used to do it all the time but it's been in the 90s and it's very humid here. I just turned around to look out the back kitchen door window and the sun is out now. It's been dark, thundering and raining all morning. I'm at one of my normal favorite spots to sit and look out. We have a rather " different designed house". The den is a converted 2 car garage so there are only 2 tiny windows up high on the wall like the windows of a garage. So very little little light. The two front bedrooms let very little light in either as they are bricked over ( latis work style). Our bedroom is in corner back and has only natural light coming in when you open curtains, that, and where I'm sitting at kitchen table looking out to back yard. Even then there is little to no yard to look at as there is a 2 room bldg in that takes up most of the back yard.
Wow, did I really get off of talking about how i was feeling to giving a virtual tour of our house!!!.
I'm washing clothes and am going to go in and clean the ceiling fan in our room. Another thing my wife has been mentioning we need to clean. If i can do that maybe I'll get back or track on getting more cleaned here.
So, end of one month maybe better start to a better month.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have put times off for awhile now I feel like I need to clean and get rid of old items. Looking back they are things that I thought were nice now just are dust collectors. Kids don't want so they will be gone.
    Take care and think positive it does help.
    68 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    Take it one day at a time. Find some time for just you. Sit and relax, maybe listen to some calming music. If you go on YouTube there is a whole lot of meditation music to help you calm yourself down when you have anxiety and to help lift your spirits.

    I would prioritize tasks that I want to get done. If you start out doing only one thing, and accomplish that it will be a positive. Give yourself credit for accomplishing that. Everything you do is a positive and it should be acknowledged by you. I think you're too hard on yourself. Remember you can't do all, it's just not possible.

    Hopefully things will work out, as I know it must be hard to pull yourself out of your slump. I wish you the best.
    68 days ago
    It's hard to stay motivated sometimes. I need to check and recaulk the old windows in this house. Summer's going to beat us up here, if we aren't careful. Have a great day!
    68 days ago
    Thank you for posting. I have found I have to make my own schedule and give myself task to accomplice just like when I was working. It helps the day go by and it helps my energy level because I have something I must get done.🙏🏽
    68 days ago
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