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jokes and May review and June goals

Tuesday, June 09, 2020

May goals :
1. lose weight I now weigh 167.4 gain 1 lbs 168.4
2. drink at least 6 cups of water a day I am doing better on this
3. keep up my exercise streak now on day 1,064 I am now on day ,1097
4. keep up with my team - I did this
5. really take this healthy journey seriously - I need to work on this
6. 3 freggies , one being a veggie - need to work on this
7. don't eat in bed -I am working on this
8. get caught up in my bible reading- I need to work on this
June goals:
1. lose weight I now weigh 168.4
2. drink at least 6 cups of water a day
3. keep up my exercise streak I am now on day ,1097
4. keep up with my team -
5. really take this healthy journey seriously -
6. 3 freggies , one being a veggie
7. don't eat in bed -
8. get caught up in my bible reading-
9. get on my wii at least 5 days a week
Jokes:
The Good Wife's Guidance After Marriage
Daniel and Jessica, young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When they got back, Jessica immediately 'phoned her mother and her mother obviously asked, 'How was the honeymoon, dearest?'
'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. So romantic...'
Then Jessica burst out crying. 'But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Daniel started using the most ghastly language... saying things I've never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Ma.'
'Calm down, Jessica!,' said her mother, 'Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?'
Still sobbing, Jessica whispered, 'Oh, Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.'

The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house.
'You did a great job,' he said and handed the man his money.
'Also, in order to thank-you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie.'
Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the painter had forgotten something the man asked, 'What's the matter, did you forget something?'
'Nope.' replied the painter. ' I'm just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked.'

The Truckie
An old man was eating in a truck stop when three bikers walked in.
The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.
Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
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