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Jokes and my best friend

Tuesday, June 16, 2020

June 8th is Best Friends Day. Blog about your best friend. How did you meet, what makes that person your best friend? How do you and your best friend spend your time together?

My best friend is my sister Jeanne. There a family story that when I was born
my sister and my bro Mike fought over what mom was having. At this point
Jeanne was the only girl of a family with five kids. Mike just wanted another
boy. So they fought. Both won when mom as twin a boy and girl.
Jeanne is my best friend because she care about me. She let me be a part of her family. Jeanne who only 4 years older than me but help raise me. After my dad death mom
took two jobs and wasn't home much. So Jeanne took over the house work and
part of the mothering role. When she married my BIL they move in with us.
When Mom and them brought the duplex they move in next to us. I was her
kids main babysitter and now I watch Elijah and Natalie allot. We take turn taking care of mom. In our free time We watch tv, exercise on the wii, go to movie ,
and take walks. It even fun to go grocery shopping with her,

OKAY NOW FOR THE JOKES hopefully they funny
Differences Between Man and Women
Names
If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara.
If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Money
A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.
A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.
The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.
Future
A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Natural
Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed.
Women will somehow deteriorate during the night.
Children
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Thought for the Day
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.


Te Be Six Again
You really have to give this guy an A+ for effort.
George was a thoughtful husband. He wanted to give his wife something special for her birthday which was coming up soon. As he sat on the edge of the bed, he watched his wife turning back and forth and looking at herself in the mirror. "Reta," he said, "What would you like for your birthday?"
His wife continued to look at herself and said, "I'd like to be six again."
George knew just what to do. On the big day, he got up early and made his wife a bowl of Fruit Loops. Then he took her to an amusement park where they rode all the rides. Five hours later, Reta's stomach felt upside down and her head was reeling. Never the less, George took her to McDonald's and bought her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Next, it was a movie with popcorn, soda and her favorite candy.
As Reta wobbled into the house that evening and flopped on the bed, George asked her, "Well, Dear, what was it like to be six again?"
Reta looked up at him. Her expression changed. She said, "I meant my dress size!"


Why Men Are Happier
Men can play with toys all their life.
Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.
Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.
Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.
Men can "do" their fingernails with a pocket knife.
Men's bellies usually hide their large hips.
Chocolate is just another snack.
The whole garage belongs to them.
Weddings take care of themselves.
Men's last name never changes.
Everything on a man's face stays its original color.
Men only have to shave their faces and necks.
Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.
Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.
For men, wrinkles add character.
Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase.
Men's new shoes don't cause blisters, or cut or mangle their feet.

A wedding dress cost $500. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks
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