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Day 53: Issues With Emotional Eating

Monday, June 22, 2020

emoticon I've always had issues with emotional eating. Yesterday was no exception. My ex likes to mess with my head a lot and exaggerate things in order to make me worry and get anxious and paranoid. Right now he's upset because I'm getting in shape and I'm helping Fritzy to exercise and build muscles by exercising and he's let himself go so he's afraid that Fritzy and I are going to be in better shape and have bigger muscles than him (as Fritzy puts it "He has no muscles.") So he way overexaggerated Fritzy's medical conditions when he told me he took him to the ER this weekend and totally freaked me out and I was panicking all day and ended up smoking and way overeating and it really just turned out to be that Fritzy had a few stretch marks from gaining some weight this spring and some constipation issues and needs to do a laxative treatment again. But Fritzy's always had constipation issues. I'm thinking about getting him some fibre gummies. I always give him whole grain bread and used to always give him whole grain noodles but now he insists on having the regular ones because he likes the taste better. But anyway, I need to work on dealing with my anxiety with better coping mechanisms. I take Lamictal which helps with depression and anxiety both (helps my anxiety actually better than all the various anxiety medication I used to take), but I also need to perhaps meditate more and journal more and listen to more music and burn more incense and start buying candles, etc.

emoticon Nutrition: Nutrition was an absolute disaster yesterday. I didn't end up eating nearly as many calories as I *thought* I did when I finally tracked all of it, but I ate really terribly and just everything that wasn't nailed down. So I'm feeling kind of sick this morning.

Sugars 330 (Goal 0-90g)
Sodium 5613 (Goal 500-2300mg)
Fibre 32 (Goal 25-50g)
Protein 105 (Goal 60-236g)
Carbs 551 (Goal 264-439g)
Fat 108 (Goal 52-105g)
Cholesterol 249 (0-300mg)

emoticon Fitness: Yesterday was my rest day but I was still pretty active. I did a lot of laundry (we found a bunch of clothes in storage that fit me now, a lot of Fabletics workout clothes and a few other things, and some things of Fritzy's), and then I did a bunch of sweeping. In all I got almost 5,000 steps yesterday.

Activity Totals:
Activity Minutes 16 (Goal 100)
Zone Minutes 2 (Goal 50)
Calories Burned 104 (Goal 1000)
Calorie Balance 3165 (Goal 2,350 - 2,700)
Miles 3.74 (Goal 14)
Floors 0 (Goal 35)
Meditation Minutes 0 (Goal 100)

emoticon Water: I really can't remember if I drank water or not, but I don't think I did. I think I drank a lot of sparkling water, though. Today I'm going to have to drink more plain water.

emoticon Cigars: I'm back to putting money in the jar again but I've been using change I find on the floor to buy cigars. So now that all that change is gone I won't be able to buy smokes anymore.

emoticon Meditation: I haven't been meditating and I think that's part of my problem.

emoticon Sleep: Fritzy was upset about it but I went to bed early last night. I needed the sleep and I didn't want to overeat any more than I already had.

emoticon Motivation: My motivation right now is getting back on track. I am doing so well right now that I don't want to mess it up. I am fitting back into my old Fabletics workout clothes and they are NOT cut big!! My Woman Within 1XL clothes ARE cut big but my Fabletics XXL clothes are cut SMALL!! They're made by Kate Hudson and they are super trendy and expensive. I bought them when I used to have a ton of money to spend on whatever and I hardly used them because for some reason I felt like they should be used for actual exercise like yoga and not for walking around the block so they are like new.

emoticon Non-Scale Victory: I have 2 nonscale victories now. One is that I can squat down on the floor now where before I could not. The other is I can fit through the door to the garage now. There's a bunch of boxes in front of the door so the door only opens halfway and before I was too fat to squeeze through and had to go all the way around the house to get into the garage and now I can get into the garage through the kitchen door!

So that's all for now. More later! emoticon
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