In my journey to health and wellness, my priority (and obsession) has always been to lose weight. When I would think about what goals I wanted to set, the number one spot was always reserved for some sort of amount of weight I wanted gone by a certain time. I based my timeline on whatever next big event was coming up: a holiday, trip to visit family, friend's wedding, etc. As much as I claimed losing weight was about my health, looking back, I don't think it was. Losing weight for me was about looking like the photoshopped woman in the magazine and not hating myself when I wore a bathing suit. My mindset was about vanity and not health.
I didn't set out for this time to be any different. I started out with the same thoughts echoing in my mind about how I'm not any good at dieting or I'll probably just fail again. Unlike my past attempts, I didn't fail after two weeks. I was patient with myself and let whatever changes come in their own time. I don't know when or how but, somewhere along the way, my thoughts started to change. I went from "Why bother trying to lose weight? You'll always be fat anyway" to "I'm not where I want to be yet but these shorts look good on me!"
My biggest surprise so far came when I was setting my July goals. For the first time, my number one spot didn't belong to a weight loss goal but a fitness one! I made a goal to run a 5K by my birthday on 7/27. What?! That's crazy to me! Due to issues with my knee, I don't think I'll successfully run 3 miles by the end of the month but the goal is still at the top of my list.
My thoughts are no longer about all the things I can't do or that I'll fail at. Instead, I think about all the things I'm not able to do YET but will be able to as my body gets stronger. Yes, I do still want to lose weight. I have about 30 pounds to go until I reach my tentative goal weight. I haven't stopped trying to lower the number on the scale but it has stopped being my main focus. Instead, I'm focusing on increasing my strength, gaining confidence, having my blood work come back in the normal ranges, and being the best version of myself I can be at every phase of life I'm in.
Have a great day, y'all. :)
(Image Description: Painting of light blue background with red/orange feather in foreground. Text around the feather states, "There is freedom waiting for you, on the breezes of the sky, and you ask what if I fall? Oh but my darling, what if you fly?")