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Working Toward a Better Week

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Hey y'all!

I normally try to keep my blog posts fairly happy and upbeat. Not because I never have a bad day or because I'm trying to be fake but because I am a firm believer in the power of a positive mindset and spreading positivity. But I think there's also something to be said for transparency and honesty. If I'm being honest, this has been a hard week for me.

I posted a few weeks back about how earlier this year I fell into a pretty deep depression that landed me in a scary headspace. I got back into running and it really improved my mental health. I got to where I was excited to run and looked forward to those 45 minutes of me time. Then last week I injured my ankle. I went to urgent care and there was a concern I had fractured it again. I called to make an orthopedist appointment but it was a week before I could get in so I had to stay off of my ankle as much as possible. I didn't realize how much running helped me with my mental health until I couldn't do it. I was fine the first couple days but as the restlessness set in, so did the downward spiral. My head certainly isn't in the place it was a few months ago and, overall, I'm still doing well. But I also recognize that being chronically cooped up in my house is going to drive me absolutely batty.

I saw my orthopedist yesterday and the good news is my ankle doesn't appear to be broken. It's not totally out of the question but not likely either. I'm having an MRI in a week or two to confirm. My doctor thinks it's a sprain and that the arthritis I have in that ankle compounded the pain. She said as long as my ankle keeps healing then I should be back to running in 4 to 6 weeks. That was such a relief to hear! I was concerned my running days were over. Now I just have to figure out other outlets for my mental health for the next month. Fortunately, I can still do some walking so my husband and I are going to go for a walk later today. I never thought I would be this excited to exercise!

The other puzzle piece I have to work on is my nutrition. I did not do so well this week. I didn't completely fall off the wagon but I definitely didn't keep my hands and feet inside the cart at all times. I still tried to stick to eating portion sizes but I didn't choose healthy foods. And my water consumption? It was nonexistent. What is this "water" you speak of? To be honest, I just didn't care. I knew I needed to but I just didn't. Not only does the scale reflect that but so does my body. I'm bloated, nauseated, and uncomfortable.

I had my pity party and now I'm pulling myself back together. I made a delicious breakfast of cottage cheese, cashews, and a fresh peach. I have my handy water bottle back by my side and I've already started guzzling it down. I had a bad week but it's not the end of my life. I didn't reach some arbitrary point of no return. I had a week where my sensitive soul had a hard time processing the hate in the world and instead of appropriately coping, I returned to old habits of eating my feelings. I had a week of relearning the importance of being kind to myself. This week will be better.

Have a good day, everyone!
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