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The Slow Decline

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Friday, July 31, 2020


My mother’s health is declining. She is depressed, and I am unable to hug her or hold her hand. It is a very sad thing to watch my mother sadly fade away. I think that she’s dying. Without human touch, I don’t know if she will recover from this one.
I pray for her to regain strength, but I wonder if a stronger force is calling her in another direction.

Perhaps my Dad and grandparents are calling to my mother. Perhaps I have to let her go. I feel as though I’m 6 years old again and in kindergarten. Mom is leaving me, and I must stay behind. My heart cries out; “Don’t go Mommy!”. Still, she left. Today I face the same struggle in my heart.
Good-bye Mom. I will hold our happy days in my heart as I continue to watch the slow decline.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ANNIEONLI
    So sorry to hear her failing...sending healing and thoughts to you both emoticon
    174 days ago
  • MANGO1960
    So sorry you and your Mom are going through this! emoticon
    174 days ago
  • 2DAWN4
    So sorry to hear this! My heart hurts for you but your love for her is so precious!
    174 days ago
  • GETULLY
    So sorry to read this. I hope all goes well--whatever well ends up being.
    174 days ago
  • JUNETTA2002
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    174 days ago
  • JPPERSELL
    Oh no! This time is so hard! We can't even hold our loved ones close as they are slipping away! I pray that my parents have nice long lives. It will put off the inevitable. Praying for you and your mom that she somehow recovers!
    174 days ago
  • HEDSTS58
    My heart breaks for you because I know that pain after losing my Mom last summer. It;s amazing how small you feel, like a child. Hopefully you can spend time with her soon. emoticon
    174 days ago
  • QUILTANDKNIT
    Doesn't matter how old you are, it is still hard to lose your Mom. God bless.
    174 days ago
  • JSTETSER
    Thanks for your comments on my blog. I'm not able 😢 to visit my mom because of a COVID outbreak in her nursing home.
    174 days ago
  • YOUCANDOITNANA
    I am sorry.
    174 days ago
  • MARKSMOM3
    emoticon I am sorry to hear about your mom. I hope there is some way you will be able to see her soon, even though I am sure she knows how loved she is by you and the rest of her family.
    emoticon I'll be thinking of you, and sending prayers and peaceful thoughts your way. emoticon
    174 days ago
  • UPTOIT59
    I am so very sorry to hear this I was just speaking with an old friend and her mom is going through a similar situation. My heart and thoughts truly go out to you all. emoticon
    174 days ago
  • JIACOLO
    I pray you all find comfort and peace during this difficult time.
    174 days ago
  • RUTHSHEPHERD1
    Prayers for your mom, you and family.
    174 days ago
  • LIVINGLOVINLIFE
    So sad, so much of saying good by but not being there. This experience has taught us just how much we love others How much we need that touch that connection. I pray that things will at least get to the point that we can once again be with our loved ones before we have to say good-by. I pray that you will finf peace and never give up. God works in strange ways. Maybe you will be able to hug your mom again and tell her you love her. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    174 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    So sorry you have to go through this. Know you are not alone, Prayers for your mom, and prayers for strength for you to get through these trying times. I think it is so sad for those in homes not to have family contact. May God be with her and your family as you go through these times. We went through it 4 times watching are parents slip away, but we were there to say goodbye and give the hugs and such.
    174 days ago
  • FITNIK2020
    Hang on. We all must face this .
    175 days ago
  • TEACHERGIRL8873
    Prayers for you and your family during this hard time. emoticon
    175 days ago
  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon
    175 days ago
  • GRAMDEB16
    I’m so sorry for you. I hope you will be allowed to hug her before she goes.
    175 days ago
  • no profile photo RACHNACH
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    175 days ago
  • THOMS1
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    175 days ago
  • POINDEXTRA
    My heart goes out to you, Jackie! When my uncle was dying, a wise nun told his sister that he wouldn't be able to pass on until she let him go. Shortly after he told her it was OK to go on, he died. We had a similar experience when my Mom was dying. Sis and I believe that she tried to go a couple of times, but we weren't ready so she stayed. Within an hour of our telling her that we'd be OK, she was able to pass on. Our Mom had terminal cancer and we were able to be there, though. Your situation is much harder. I hope the facility will let you suit up to see her. Do ask, ask, and ask again! ( though if there's a PPE shortage in your area, that could be a reason for their strictness.). Hugs ro you both.
    175 days ago
  • BONIFIANT
    Your blog this morning is not one that I can hit like to. There is just too much pain expressed. I understand why the rules have to be in place for the protection of our loved ones but it certainly taking a huge emotional toll on both sides of those closed doors. I wonder if the staff is permitted to touch and hug as I used to do when I was working in a care home. I know that is not a replacement for the hug of a daughter, son, or grandchild, but every loving touch helps a bit.

    You have received such an outpouring of love and understanding in response to your blog and I add mine. I pray that God will support you and your mom during these hard days.
    175 days ago
  • MSJOSIEFOREVER
    I don't know, but can people not gown up as parents have to do to see thier new borns in ICU's, so our love ones can feel our hugs and touch. If you have on a mask, gowns or even a full suit, and gloves, I don't see why people can't hug thier parents. So sorry that you are going through this. :-(
    175 days ago
  • TRUEPEACENIK
    My heart aches for you.
    My father passed away May 30, and I was unable to be there.
    What I did was send videos where I showed him an area where I walk, just treating it like a one-sided conversation.
    Eventually, I made a “good bye, I love you, and it’s time to explore what’s out there” video, complete with some tears and breaking voice. In all honesty, if I could have reshot it, I would have, but my peaceful spot suddenly filled with people. So I sent that third take. He saw the video, smiled, cried.
    Later that evening, he passed away in his sleep, napping after dinner.
    175 days ago
  • GODSBEST
    Prayers of strength for you as you go through this trying time.
    175 days ago
  • TAMMYVAUGHN57
    emoticon I'm so sorry, Satan is rearing his ugly head at this time separating us from connecting. emoticon . My prayers will go up for you and her. May the strong arms of Father God hold you in his arms. God bless you.
    175 days ago
  • JUNEAU2010
    I very much feel your pain! Letting go is SO hard! I stood next to my dad's hospital bed that last weekend and watched him struggle to breathe. I told him, through my tears, that, while I did not want him to go, that it was OK for him to do so. I kid you not. His breathing eased and, a few hours later, he was gone. I knew he would never leave the hospital bed and, by his standards, that was not living. That was merely existing and that would never have been his choice. He had signed a DNR (Do not resuscitate) and, fortunately, that was not an issue.

    My heart is with you. emoticon
    175 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    These are truly some of the toughest times of Covid. Not being able to hold our loved ones in their last moments. I know she knows you love her. Thinking of you and sending hugs and prayers for both of you.
    175 days ago
  • MARYJOANNA
    Are you able to send her cards? Can you call her on the phone? It is sad to see a loved one depressed. Blessings to you!
    175 days ago
  • CHERYLHURT
    Is she near you?
    175 days ago
  • SHAKERATTLEROLL
    emoticon and prayers for your Mother and you. This is so hard to read for I truly am sorry to hear this. May the Lord give you strength.
    175 days ago
  • LIS193
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    175 days ago
  • JANIEWWJD
    i am sad for you because I know what you're going through. emoticon My 94 year old dad is in a nursing home, and he tested positive for Covid-19. emoticon He, too, is declining. emoticon My heart is breaking too. emoticon God bless you, my friend, and God bless your mother. emoticon
    175 days ago
  • POLSKARENIA
    So sad for you. We all experience that sadness and loss differently, but we have to let go, because it’s the way of life and nature.
    175 days ago
  • TCANNO
    So, sorry


    emoticon
    175 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
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    175 days ago
  • DOVESEYES
    It is a very hard time, so sorry you can't get a hug :) a Mom's hug is wonderful.
    175 days ago
  • WEIGHTNITOUT60
    Prayers and hugs. I took care of both my parents, one then the other at home in hospice. You think back on all the birthdays, the family summer trips to see extended family. Then you realise that time is catching up and soon you will be laying there too. Hold on to those good times and never let go .
    David
    175 days ago
  • SPEDED2
    Such terrible times that bring so much pain to so many people. emoticon
    175 days ago
  • SVELTEWARRIOR
    Sending prayers and love
    175 days ago
  • GRAMMYEAC
    Such a difficult time. I saw the same feelings in DH last fall as he watched his father decline and fail.

    Know that you and your mother have shared a special bond over the years. That bond, and those memories, are the basis of your everlasting love.
    175 days ago
  • SHAWFAN
    I'm so sorry. And I know your pain. My own mother is fading away and I can't be with her either. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please pray for me as well. emoticon
    175 days ago
  • CAROLJ35
    So sorry for so many people who are in the same situation. Prayers for all.
    First comment didn't show up, so wrote again.
    175 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/31/2020 9:55:11 PM
  • CAROLJ35
    So much sadness for so many people. Those older people must feel their families have deserted them. I'll pray for you and your mom.
    175 days ago
  • LIZANDRASHAW
    So sorry. Sending you hugs. My grandmother did this on purpose. She just stopped eating and interacting. It was so painful to watch. I feel for you right now.
    175 days ago
  • ALEXSGIRL1
    emoticon
    175 days ago
  • JAMER123
    Sending prayers to you and your family. These are very hard times for families that have been separated. Your mom could be slowly going due to loneliness that only family can help. Or she is being called home by her loved ones that have gone before her. It makes no difference to those left behind as the sadness is there. Heaven is only a breath away for any of us. May you find the peace you are looking for. God bless.
    175 days ago
  • REDROBIN47
    These are hard times and I pray for God to lessen the sadness and pain you are feeling. It's a time for reflection of all the good times you and your mother shared. My mother passed when she was 90 and she told me that she was tired and wanted to go be with my dad and younger brother. I told her it was okay for her to go and she died that night in her sleep. It was one of the hardest things to do but I knew she was hanging on for me. I know it's hard and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
    175 days ago

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