Half Way and no Cigar
Saturday, August 08, 2020
I just read an article on Spark about the half-way challenges that are common. That's where I am: Half way. 52 pounds lost and almost that many left to lose. And I am struggling. I haven't found an exercise this body can manage to do without severe pain and because I'm in so much pain, cooking is not really an option either. I'm bored with Lean Cuisine and have been stuck in a plateau since March.. I've been gaining and losing the same 4 lbs. over. And Over. ad infinitum. This is the season I used to love. Farmers Markets and garden stands. But i hesitate. I know that most likely, those veggies will rot in the fridge. Most of the time, I just feel too lousy to eat or to prepare even a salad.
Beth has done her best to keep me encouraged. And she does help. But something has got to change. And now I'm on new medication of a category that is notorious for causing weight gain. And yes....I've been battling hunger pains all night long. I've come too far. I've worked too hard to let ennui or a little white pill beat me. I will NOT cave in to the lies my body is telling me. I will not succumb to the discouragement and negativity of my brain.
If I would just lose (and KEEP OFF) these 5 annoying pounds that stand between 179 and me I would feel a heck of a lot better. I've actually gotten to 180 a few times and just never could manage to defeat that one last pound. I've been using calorie cycling (3 days at the higher ranges of calories and 4 days at the lower end of the spectrum.) and I can't decide if it works. I can never eat high enough calories to work. OR I binge here and there and 'actually been higher than the top numbers--not by a lot and not often-- but enough to make me avoid the scale for a while.
So. To be proactive--what things can i DO to get a grip on myself and re-infuse myself with excitement and motivation?
1) re-institute the rewards system and use them even for small weekly goals. Doesn't have to be big or expensive...just something to give me a lift and an "atta girl."
a Reward jar--when I lose three or four pounds and keep them off for a week, buy a pair of socks or a candle. Do a foot soak in peppermint Epsom salts. Write a poem to encourage myself for the next step. Buy an inexpensive eBook. Buy a plaque with a verse or inspiring quote and put it where you see it all the time. Put lavender essential oil on a handkerchief, under your pillow. Get a trash bag and fill it with stuff to donate and actually get it to the thrift store. celebrate the new space you have created. Take a morning nap...especially if you were up all night. Go out and buy an Italian ice or small ice cream cone.
Speaking of morning naps...time for one now...it was a long night. Keep the faith.
I will add more later