AUGUST 21, 2020
Friday, August 21, 2020
I am revising my plans to blog daily. I will commit to blog at LEAST weekly.
Time for some real honesty here. I have not been doing well for months. I am still working with my therapist and doctor. I am just having a horrible time with anxiety. I am not sure if it is the quarantine or the fear of getting sick, or being inside so much that my anxiety disorder is in full bloom.
I have not been good about going around people for a long time. One of the things that my therapist and I have been working on is getting me to be able to go into a grocery store. I actually went into one with my husband a couple of weeks ago. It was unnerving but not impossible. One day I am going to find a way to go into a store by myself. But for now I will keep practicing with people who are close to me and willing to help me try to get over it.
The past 2 months it has been getting so bad, that I have barely been able to leave my room. I haven't been to work teaching my water aerobic ladies in over 2 weeks. Every time I am supposed to go, I about freak out. I have to take an anxiety pill and then take a nap. This week I had to cancel a doctor appointment for the 2nd time because I just could not go out. I took my pill & next thing I know, it was 5pm.
Tomorrow I am supposed to go to work. I am committing HERE & NOW to push myself to go. I MUST stop being stuck. I will also commit to pushing myself to go to the pool more often. Can you believe that DAWNWATERWOMAN has not been able to go to the pool? I was going almost every single day for 10 years and all of a sudden I can't make myself go. TOO WEIRD. But I will fight it and I will go.
My emotional eating is also out of control. I am committing to work on it as well.
One dat at a time.