"True friends are never apart; maybe in distance but never in heart."
"One day you are the peacock and the next day you are the feather duster."
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter says to this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn.
He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute!" says the minister. "That man was a taxi driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"
"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. While he drove, people prayed."
- From Mikey’s Funnies
It's First Love Day! Oh, what memories! Here's to the youthful vigor and boundless energy through the throes of that first enchantment. Do you remember your first love, your first crush?
--Air Force Birthday Day: today commemorates when the US Air Force was separated from the Army and became its own military branch in 1947.
--Bright Lipstick Day: observed on the 3rd Friday of September in Australia; today is an annual event to raise awareness of breast and ovarian cancer, their symptoms, prevention and treatments.
--Chiropractic Founders Day: today commemorates the first adjustment in1895 by D.D. Palmer; considered an alternative medical process, chiropractic adjustments have had a hard time getting the respect and acceptance of mainstream Western medicine; it was a long time before insurance would cover chiropractic visits.
--Hug a Greeting Card Writer: today salutes those unsung heroes who always have the right words we want to say.
--International Grenache Day: observed on the 3rd Friday of September; a salute to the grape for wine grown in the Aragon area north of Spain.
--International Read an eBook Day: hats off to the newer version of reading materials; paper books will always have a spot in our hearts but the eBooks do have advantages; you can even borrow from the library through the internet to your reader.
--National Ceiling Fan Day: today is a salute to the appliance we tend to ignore till it stops working during the worst of summer.
--National Cheeseburger Day: yes, we just had another cheeseburger day a few days ago--someone really wants their cheeseburgers; today is a salute in honor of that hamburger derivative originated in Pasadena, California in 1926, accidentally ; check your papers for local deals of freebies today.
--National Concussion Awareness Day: on the 3rd Friday of September; today raises awareness of the dangers, symptoms, treatment, and prevent of brain injury due to concussions.
--National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day: the combination is due to the fact that patients with HIV/AIDS are living longer and are now encountering aging related issues; the day is to educated about preventive care and treatment for the aging population.
--National POW/MIA Recognition Day: observed on the 3rd Friday of September; today honors all who were POW's and those who are still missing from any war.
--National Respect Day: today is a day to raise awareness about domestic and dating violence; a day to remember respect is necessary to prevent violence against women and children.
--National Tradesmen Day: observed on the 3rd Friday of September; today we salute and honor all the crafts men and women who build our homes, roads, businesses, and cities; they are the backbone of every country.
--Rice Krispies Treats Day: today is a salute to a fun snack invented in 1939 by Malitta Jensen and Mildred Day of Kellogg Company as a fundraiser for the Camp Fire Girls.
--Rosh Hashanah: a Jewish holiday that begins today at sundown and lasts through sundown of September 20th; today marks the Jewish New Year.
--World Bamboo Day: today raises awareness that, while bamboo seems to grow easily, the resource needs to be protected to ensure sustainable utilization and prevent over-logging.
--World Water Monitoring Day: as part of a global educational outreach program, today is to encourage and educate people about the importance of monitoring and how to monitor the water of their community.
--In 1851, the New York Times published its inaugural issue; it would go on to earn over 100 Pulitzer Prizes and be deemed the U.S. newspaper of record; it would be nicknamed "Grey Lady" due to its implied stateliness, responsibility and high virtue.
--In 1837, Tiffany's opened as a "stationery and fancy goods emporium"; the blue box was present from the beginning but Tiffany's would switch to high-end merchandise over its first decade.