coronavirus is a challenge when old issues come out
Sunday, October 25, 2020
good morning - I have been up too early but could not sleep. I have been having issues with communication with my spouse. Same issues that keep coming up for about the last ten years. Since DH traveled most of our marriage for work. He can be very inflexible on multi-levels. DS wants him to drive a truck and help move furniture. Now yesterday, he is regretting that he said yes. He does this at times. He says yes and then does not follow through or regrets his decision. But Friday afternoon, we found out that DS expected DH to make reservations for the truck. DH will not ask DS who is supposed to do this. He says it is his move and his responsibility. I say why don't you talk it out with your son and see what is what. I am already scheduled to babysit. Well, today is here. The truck is scheduled. All weekend - I could not figure out what was going on with DH. He was isolating and not talking. I find out he does not want to do the move today. He says Yes when he wants to say no. But he becomes silent and does not communicate at all. I have not slept well for a couple of days. My DH seems to be falling apart from this coronavirus isolation, his retirement - so lost. But he will not communicate, so I have to try to guess and get him to talk. What works is when I get mad, then he "wakes up" and talks. His whole family has this lack of communication. I never realize how bad until I have spent so much time together. It is like living with a robot. I love him dearly but he is not adjusting to his retirement and the isolation of the virus. I lose my program when it gets so hard to communicate with him. He spent so much time in his office this weekend. I normally do not mind, but I knew something was up. He says to me - I am a big boy I can handle it. I know he does not deal with some things well- he just isolates and thinks things with go away. I even asked him if he wanted to go to see a counselor - he does not. I have GD coming by 9-10 am this morning. I will be busy with her. I am letting go of the situation today. I just hope it is not an all-day move. I know DH will probably not be happy after he comes home. He does have issues when he spends too much time with our son. I have to let go!!