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DARCY-B
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"FAT"

Monday, November 02, 2020

I just read an SP blog, "You Got Called Fat, Now What?"

I couldn't read it all. Let me take that back. I could have read it all, I chose not to. It hurts, honestly, bringing back unpleasant memories from the majority of my life.

At 5 my Dad was telling me, "You don't want to be fat. You'll be miserable your whole life." Once when my room was cluttered, he called it "dirty," he made a sign that said "Pig Pen" and put it above my bedroom door. Even at 5, I equated that less than my messy room than I did with weight.

When I was 10 he made me walk a mile a day. When I began to return quicker than he thought I should, so he went with me. Many years later, my Mom said he laughed as he told her he had a hard time keeping up.

To be honest, I have called myself "FAT" thousands of times, if not millions, more than it has been said or inferred by others. This is my struggle. I AM MY STRUGGLE. No matter what was said or wasn't, every choice to eat this and not that or walk or not is mine.

Thank you for listening/reading,
HUGS,
Darcy.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DARCY-B
    Thank you @1HOPESPARKS @IAMRHEELLIE @NIGHTSKYSTAR
    68 days ago
  • NIGHTSKYSTAR
    I had to take the bad off the word. Decide it’s just 3 letters and no longer has control over me.
    I had someone ask me what I’m going to do about my loose skin. I thought for a minute, smiled, and said wear it like a badge of honor.
    Before that question would have took me to my knees, as the word fat did. I won’t lie and say it was easy to change my thinking. But it’s sure helped me to do so.
    73 days ago
  • IAMTHEELLIE
    I'm working really hard to separate "fat" from all the negative baggage that comes with it - "lazy" "ugly" "unworthy" etc. Because I *am* fat... But that doesn't mean I'm not motivated, beautiful, and worthy as well!
    73 days ago
  • 1HOPESPARKS
    I'm sorry about what happened to you. I have my own struggles associated with being fat at a young age and although I'm older and wiser, I can still feel those negative words and situations that have caused permanent damage to my self confidence and self esteem than I want to admit. One thing for sure... what we say or think about ourselves can be healing or damaging as well. emoticon
    73 days ago
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