Reality & Commitment
Sunday, January 03, 2021
I'm lost, I'm in a dark rabbit burrow looking for the right path to take. I have tried several so far recently: OA-HOW, strict eating plan, WW, Noom, texting a friend daily, and lastly answering OA- HOW questions. I have taking these different paths since July/ Aug when I allowed Addi (my addiction's name) to start making decisions for me. I stopped doing what I know I need to do.
The solution is clear and simple-- OA: Working the 12 steps with my SA and Gods. It's not easy but it is the solution that works for me. I need to take the actions and non-actions (Stop eating crap) to recover. I need to stop trying to control the uncontrolable, admit that I can't control food or my life. I need to rely on the Gods and my SA. I need to remind myself that I am worth helping and that if I ask and listen I will receive the guidance I need. I'm not worthless, stupid, ugly and not important enough to help. I am worth helping and I need to stop listening to Addi who says I'm not, so that I stay stuck in the problem and not living in the solution.
Tonight: I will throw out all binge foods in my home, write and meditate after work.
I am worth living free of food obsession and so are all of you. What ever path works for you know that you are worth taking care of!
Kelly- Compulsive Overeater and Food Addict