My Thoughts on Week 1
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
I sucessfully made it through my first week (and most importantly first weekend) officially back on track. My first weigh-in and I was down 7.4 pounds, which is a wonderful way to start.
I was really worried about the weekend, but in all actuality, it wasn't that bad. It's strange, but It's like something clicked in me. The same thing that clicked in my brain the first time I started spark people. It's like this switch in my brain, that when pressed acknowledges that this life is right and true, and gives me, not exactly motivation, but just a knowingness deep inside that makes it almost easy to eat right.
I don't know if that makes any sense at all. But I feel like I somehow hit that switch the first time around. Because that first 6 months really was easy. I mean yeah, there were difficult days, but I always knew that I was doing the right thing, and I never really wavered.
But then, somehow the switch shorted out, and that knowing was just gone. I think a good part of that was due to reaching what I thought was an impossible goal of getting under 200 pounds. When I did that AND realized my dream of being able to shop in regular stores, something was lost, and I just didn't have the same drive.
But then after a few months of just dipping my toes in the ocean of my old way of eating, I started to wade in, until one day I just got sucked out to sea by an undertow. And no matter how hard I tried to get back to the shore, I just kept getting pulled under. I lived like that for 6 months.
And it's like last week I somehow ended back up on shore, and I don't know how I got there. But I can feel it, I can feel the difference.