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Help me figure this out!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010      2 comments

I don't know exactly what it is I'm feeling right now - could you guys help me figure it out?? Today I ate really well, was very active - walked around the city with a good friend doing errands. Then at night I walked her to her other frie... Read more
Abort Mission
Thursday, July 08, 2010      7 comments

Ah, well. So much for the "9 lb Sprint" (see previous blog entry.) I just had it confirmed... I am dealing with Depression. The real thing, with a capital letter; not the watered-down buzzword that is bandied about so lightly nowadays. ... Read more
The 9 lb Sprint :)
Friday, June 25, 2010      6 comments

And it begins! Back in April I had gotten down to 166.2 lb, a weight at which I felt and looked awesome. Somehow the pounds coming off didn't have much of a noticeable effect (I started at 185 in November) but after I hit 168 or so, peop... Read more
Which Addiction is Worse?
Sunday, June 20, 2010      3 comments

I have been so ashamed of my difficulty with, or maybe "addiction" to food - I feel so out of control, so unable to apply my knowledge of healthy eating to my actual food intake. I have been struggling for a long time to lose weight - with some... Read more
I'm so ashamed. Please help me.
Thursday, April 29, 2010      11 comments

I binged. I'm crying as I write this. I binged. What was it anyway? Not more than 2000 calories probably, not something that I can never get over. It's a finite number; I haven't regained the 20 lb I've lost. But the awful, awful feeling. ... Read more
It's different for me
Thursday, March 04, 2010      8 comments

Humph. I realized something huge yesterday. I'm not sure if it's disappointing or a relief. There are so many lovely people here on Spark who lose steadily, maybe have a plateau or get stuck in a rut, but mostly the people who are losing ... Read more
I can do this. It's just so very, very hard.
Sunday, February 07, 2010      8 comments

I hesitate to blog. Perhaps because I wonder if there's anyone out there - is there a point? But I will do this for myself. If anyone can give me the support I need right now, all the better. Sigh. Two steps forward, one step back. Or,... Read more
It's Not Starting Over - It's Continuing
Thursday, November 12, 2009      1 comments

In order to change my lifestyle, I have to change my thinking, my internal lifestyle. I have perfectionist tendencies and tend to think "it's all or nothing." If I ate one cookie, I'll be really upset, because my day is no longer perfect. ... Read more
My Confetti Challenge
Monday, November 09, 2009      4 comments

Dare I hope? My SparkTeam "20-somethings with 50-99 pounds to lose" started a Biggest Loser Challenge. I've been stuck in the 180s forever. I dipped below 180 for a very brief moment, and then shot back up again. My teammates are ta... Read more
It's the Little Things
Tuesday, July 07, 2009      0 comments

Today I realized that there is something totally schizophrenic about my behavior with food. I know that if I eat a little bit more than I should, that I will definitely gain weight. Yet, I feel that if I abstain from eating that little bit ... Read more
The Numbers
Sunday, July 05, 2009      0 comments

I'm a visual person - I learn when I see things, I register and remember things when I can visualize them. This is why the scale has been such an addiciction for me - I needed to SEE a number, to have a number to associate with myself, to tack ... Read more
Thank You
Monday, May 04, 2009      0 comments

Thank you for: ~ a large, green park two minutes from my home ~ dry paths despite morning rain ~ a zoo bordering the park, and so an ostrich to watch me exercise ~ two bunnies hopping into the bushes (what would city gals give for tha... Read more
Thursday, April 30, 2009      3 comments

You know that voice - that *voice* - which beats you down when you're finally feeling up. Which tells you you're not good enough, that this won't work, that you can't do it. I was walking briskly in the park, pushing my one year old daught... Read more
This is the Day that Started it All
Wednesday, April 29, 2009      2 comments

emoticon I have been dissatisfied long enough. I can reach a healthy weight, enjoy my appearance and lead a f... Read more