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AUNTNIK's Photo AUNTNIK Posts: 46
4/18/12 9:37 A

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I was reading through this post and realized that someone referenced a friend who locked their children in their room?? I must confess to being appalled at the idea. What if there were a fire or some other emergency that required that child to get out of his or her room on their own? I was in a house fire as a child. Luckily, every child made it out of the house, but 2 of us did it on our own with no grown-up to assist us. A child-proof door knob would have killed us.

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AUNTNIK's Photo AUNTNIK Posts: 46
4/18/12 9:34 A

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There are as many different answers to this question as there are children. My son was the best sleeper. He was easy to get to bed and I never had an issue. So, when my daughter came along, it was a shock to my system. She had moments where she was horrible to get to bed offset by not very bad to get to bed. There was never a really good night. There were points when I thought that it would last forever. We went with the program of not talking to her after the second or third time she was up. We would not pick her up. We would take her hand, walk her back to bed, put her in bed, hug her and leave. I cannot say that I never ever raised my voice or never ever begged her to go to bed. But we tried to make it neutral. One day, my hub and I realized, hey, she's going to bed smoothly. But it was a long time in coming. Now, nearing 5, she is great about going to bed. But at 2 and 3, boy, it could be tough. Hold your temper and remember, she is the child, you are the adult.

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CD10698144 Posts: 277
4/17/12 10:32 A

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You're welcome!

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4/17/12 10:08 A

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Thanks for the book I will check it out. My son will get up in the middle of the night and climb into bed with me. He is getting to big for me to carry him back into his room. Looking forward to getting some tips from the book to help.

CD10698144 Posts: 277
4/17/12 8:17 A

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Check out this book: The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It helps with daytime and nighttime sleeping. My son is 3 1/2 and we had some similar problems off and on throughout the years. The book gives a lot of good tips for child and mother. Because lord knows we need our sleep too :)

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4/17/12 4:03 A

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Does she take a nap? If so, it may be time to cut back on the amount of time spent napping. My son is 4, but on days he goes to daycare and naps he is impossible to get to sleep. On days he stays home he doesn't nap, but falls asleep in less than 15 minutes.

Phillipians 4:13: l can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.


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TDEVONA70's Photo TDEVONA70 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/14/12 11:42 A

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Does anyone have problems with reoccurring staff infections on there children?

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4/13/12 11:50 A

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Your very lucky! I'm not able to hold my 2 year old longer then 15 min. because of my back. I would love to be able to rock her again!

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WENDYLANE4AU's Photo WENDYLANE4AU Posts: 55
4/13/12 10:21 A

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I still rock my 2 year old to sleep everynight. He is getting so big that it is getting hard to do but it is our special time of the day and we get to say prayers and cuddle.

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4/12/12 8:14 P

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Either some thing has changed in your life or your two year old is just being two-both of these mean one thing-SHE'S TESTING YOU.
This is so important for you not to give up-the more she tries to win you over by climbing in your bed or disrupting everyone the more you know your daughter is smart, bold, and stubborn-so reward her by not giving up!
I have 3 kids-I'm 26-I am a military spouse whose husband has been to Iraq.
My kids haven't had this problem but they have tired in other ways to CONTROL things when they change and TEST me when they started to find their independence. Our job as mothers is to provide an environment where that independence can grow and be nurtured-but at the same time children need to learn respect for authority and rules early so that they are less likely to have such troubled tween and teen years.

I suggest ignoring the unwanted behaivor-but for that you need everyone in the house on board. It seems cruel to shut a child in they're room and "bar" them in there. So I suggest that if she is crying but not opening the door-let her cry. If she is opening the door, without saying a word pick her up, put her back in the room, and shut the door. After a few times of this finally try saying "I really love it when JANE listens to me and sleeps in her big girl bed quietly". During this time you are NOT making eye contact or talking (except for occasional reminder of what you want her to do) to her while she misbehaives.
This will be odd for her so she will throw a fit a bit longer. BUT there will be a change and the moment that she stops openeing the door or crying then you come in and say "WOW you made a big girl choice! I am so proud of you" then hug/kiss and tuck her in. If she starts balling the moment you open the door say "Oh I guess you're not ready" and shut it again.

TRUST me this works. They are so weirded out at first..after a while they get used tothe routine of bad behaivor = no attention and the less they fight on any issue.
Eye contact, hugs, talking, pleading are all REWARDS for bad behaivor. ONLY reward GOOD behaivor.



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WILDFLOWER521's Photo WILDFLOWER521 Posts: 827
4/11/12 5:00 P

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I have an almost 2 year old and she seems to be doing this as well.
It's only been recently though so I'm pretty sure it's just a phase. I think she's feeling insecure and unsure of herself.

I know it probably sounds like a broken record but, just steer her back to her bed, don't get angry or frustrated no matter how many times you have to do it. Try not to give her too much attention and say Goodnight, Mommy loves you.

My husband and I had to go the unconventional route with our now 11 year old, we bought walkie talkies (can find cheap ones in the toy section) and taught him how to use it if he was scared or just wanted to make sure we were still there. This actually worked for him, I was amazed!

We used yet another method for our 4 year old son. We bought one of those stuffed animals that glows in the dark and gently illuminates the room (from the makers of pillow pets), we turn it on when we're going through our bed time routine and explain to him if he gets scared in the night to just turn it back on and snuggle up to it. We also bought a soothing dvd that we leave on in his room that seems to help him.

If all else fails, get her ready for bed and let her run loose, get her so tired that she can't help but go straight to sleep.

I hope some of this has helped, even if just a little bit.

Good Luck and remember, this too shall pass.

Eastern time zone
Michelle


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MERRYCAKES's Photo MERRYCAKES Posts: 523
4/11/12 3:20 P

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We use the "Sleep Fairy" approach - basically, positive reinforcement and building pride in her as she conquers sleeping and staying in her big-girl bed. It's been working out great! She only very occasionally wants to sleep in our bed now, usually a night at the beginning of a major transition or event.

There's a "Sleep Fairy" book - nice and sweet and a good tool if you want to try positive reinforcement.

We're used a similar strategy with potty-training and we're doing the same thing to encourage more tooth-brushing.

Good luck!

Edited by: MERRYCAKES at: 4/11/2012 (15:44)
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FLOWERS261's Photo FLOWERS261 Posts: 20
4/11/12 1:08 P

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we deal with that too! We put a child proof door knob on the INSIDE of her room door but we go in there at LEAST 5 times before she actually is asleep. Same as you though, she has EVERYTHING she needs in there, she just manipulates.

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STEFANS5's Photo STEFANS5 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/9/12 1:02 P

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Hope - I'm in a similar boat. My 3 yr old usually sleeps in our bed. Our fault. If she falls asleep in the car, on the couch, etc - we put her in her own bed and she usually does fine. If she falls asleep in our bad, its a huge pain to move her to her room since its pretty far from ours.

However - I recently went to a Scentsy conference and heard a man talk about his children. He had several grown children and talked about a dreak he had where they were all 3 again, and he said his first thought was "I missed you guys". He talked about how the moments of them crawling into his bed and how he wished he had the chance to snuggle with them again. It made me step back and realize that she's only small for a short period of time and before I know it, I won't have the option of snuggling her like this anymore. It really changed my point of view on getting her into her own bed ASAP and now, while I still trying at times to put her in her own bed, I am able to enjoy the moments now that annoyed me before.

PS - I've never been one to do the Cry It Out method, even at 3 and a half years old. We try to pick our battles and there are times she's put in her room for behavior, sleeping alone in her own room in her own bed just isn't one of the battles we've wanted to choose.

Best of luck!

Edited by: STEFANS5 at: 4/9/2012 (13:04)
If you think you can or you can't, you are right.

If you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, you're not really hungry.

Happy Smelling!!!
http://rebeccajackson.scentsy.com/


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TDEVONA70's Photo TDEVONA70 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/6/12 4:10 P

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Hope- I totally understand. I am also the worker in the family and I am often times the one that has to put my foot down even though I want to be the cuddler. All I can say is to follow the advice that has already been given. It is hard, really hard! But I've been doing it for the last 3 nights and it gets easier every night. The first night was the most difficult. The crying went on for hours. The next night she didn't even cry. Last night, it only took a half hour. Be strong. Keep reminding yourself that your doing it for her. It will make her stronger in the end! And if you have to, cry in your room when it is done. I had to. I felt better afterwords and the next night was easier. If you need any support feel free to write me. As a mom going through it right now I totally understand how much it helps to just have the support. You have the strength all you need to do is tap into it! Good luck!

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HOPE2BSLIMSOON's Photo HOPE2BSLIMSOON SparkPoints: (0)
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4/5/12 3:04 P

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I am in the midst of a similar issue. I am a guilt ridden mom because I am the only one working right now. My mom and dad live with us and she takes care of my little one while I am at work. That being said, I cherish every moment I have with her every day. That lead to her snuggling up with Mommy @ bedtime. Unfortunaltely she would not fall asleep unless she was in Mommies bed. (I know TOTALLY my fault). We have gotten to the point where she will fall asleep on the couch or on her blanket on the floor with everybody and then we take her to her bedroom. We tried to put her in her room by herself with lullabies, but after 30 minutes of hysterics, I laid down in her bed with her. I realize I created this, and have a hard time letting her scream. I am not sure how to proceed either so any constructive advise would be welcomed.

Always shoot for the moon. Even if you fall you will still be amongst the stars.


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4/4/12 6:34 P

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Don't give into her manipulations. 2 year olds are masters at manipulation. When she comes out of her room, steer her back to bed, give a her kiss, say "Its time for bed." and THAT'S IT. No talking, no singing, no pleading, no books, no water, and no yelling. Even if you have to do to it 100 times the first night, the next night will be less and less until she finally gives up, realizes that Mommy means business, and stays in bed.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes. We are here for you!

~*~Stacy~*~
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"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal." ~Henry Ford


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OLIVERFAMILY33's Photo OLIVERFAMILY33 SparkPoints: (78)
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4/3/12 11:15 P

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OH, do I know your frustration! Our daughter is 2 as well and does come out of her room a lot. Sunny-Dee is right, and that is what we do.

With our son, and before I realized my issue with my emotions, I would lose it on him. I tried the Super Nanny technique, which is what Sunny-Dee and I do, but I was going through a post-partum upheaval of hormones, and couldn't seem to master it. Our son was (and still is at 4yrs old) VERY stubborn and likes to tell us we're the ones in trouble and need a time out. LOL

When I got the help I needed it made a WORLD of diference. I also learned on the LAST night that I lost it on him (I'd screamed like I was the devil right into his little face an hour after trying to get him to go to bed and even shook his shoulders...it was awful and makes me cry even remembering), I learned that all of the hell we were putting ourselves as well as him through was because he was afraid of the dark.

My heart dropped to the floor in a million pieces, and I burst into tears and hugged him and apologized. The one thing I neglected to do, was to ASK him why he couldn't stay in his bed.

So, now my son is fine and I'm fine...he still gets up once in awhile, but I just stay calm and ask him why he can't sleep. It's usually noises he hears (upstairs neighbors or the shower running when it's quiet) and we find the cause and he goes right back to bed. It's a challenge before they get a real grasp on language too, but we also learned that ticking his back a bit would relax him into a better sleep.

Those are what we used an still use with him when needed.

As for our 2yr old, she did come out about a hundred times after we got her the "big girl" bed. My husband and I know she is a bull in a china shop kind of girl, but she's also still very sensitive and doesn't like to make us mad at her. She has her lovey and dolls she sleeps with and can't sleep without, but even now there's at least 2-3 days a week she'll come out at least once and just stand there.

In the beginning we did just what Sunny-Dee mentioned, speak to her twice and then silent after that.

After doing that for awhile and as she became more communicative, I would make sure she was all set with her pillows, her "babies" (lovey dolls) and stuffed Donald Duck (lol) and then I tuck her in, read her a SHORT board book, then say goodnight prayers with her, just me and her. (I do the same with my son.) As I pray with her, I lightly stroke her forehead and have her hold my hand and I pray just for her and ask God to let her sleep peacefully. When we're done, I keep the quiet tone in my voice, look her in the eyes and tell her I love her so much, now it's time to sleep. Then I ask her if she's going to stay in bed now? If she says (or nods) yes, she never comes out...unless she's sick or something.

If I forget to ask, or if she comes out anyway, when we hear her door open we immediately get up and stand JUST outside of her door so when she comes slowly around the corner she sees us and I just point to her room and she now goes right back in.

Usually now, it's her doll that fell on the floor or something simple and we just tuck her back in, give her the doll or whatever dropped and that's it. We tuck her in and leave, no words spoken.

I also learned with both kids, that once in awhile they just keep getting up over and over and it's when they've had way too much stimulation that day, no nap or short nap, or even an exteded nap, I will give them a 5-minute window of time that the can sit wih us, then it's back to bed...we've only done this a few times, and we base that decision on the events of the day (naps, activities, etc) and make an educated guess based on their temperment and history and without fail it's worked every time.

We believe this shows the kids that we do respect them, even though they're little, but the rules still apply when it's time to sleep.

Since July of 2011 I have not had to yell at either of them at all to go to bed. They've not ever had to lose a toy or lovey or have me scream at them because they can't get to sleep.

I also try, on those MOST annoying and trying nights, to put myself in their shoes. When I did that, that was the first time I let the first one sit up an additional 5 minutes, because I vaguely remember wanting just a few minutes of snuggle time before bed when I was younger and/or couldn't fall asleep.

Growing up, my dad would read to us and he has this type of tone in his voice that always helped me to go to sleep. He'd read Winnie-the-Pooh books and Uncle Wiggly and I'd drift off to sleep as he read. His voice was soothing.

So, long and short and the in between of it all, try to remember that at age 2, no matter how mature they seem (I tend to forget a lot, that they don't understand things like we do), they still have "clean slates" in their life experience, so your daughter may be wondering why she's being punished when she can't sleep. We also, as parents, don't know what the problem is if they don't tell us...my 4yr old is NOT understandable at ALL when he tries to tell me something while he's screaming, so I just tell him when he can use his normal voice and talk to me, then I will help him with whatever it is he wants to say.

He was a late talker, but understood questions, so as frustrating as it was, I tried to ask him yes or no questions to figure out what he needed. Sign language for babies never worked because he'd sit there and laugh at me LOL

Now, each night before bed I let him say what's "on his chest" and I have found that time with him, just the two of us and after we pray, that he tells me EVERYTHING about his day, etc, and when I stop him to say goodnight he actually says he loves me back as I leave, and hasn't gotten up at ALL in months!!

Feel free to email me directly if you'd like. I hope this novel response will help you and all of you and your daughter will get some much needed rest.

Finally, just thought of this. Our family has a motto to "never let the sun go down while you are still angry." This is from the bible and totally applies and has applied to our lives from the day we were engaged. We use this as our family motto because I despise going to bed and trying to sleep when things are left unsettled.

My guilt was never more intense than those moments following a freak-out from me when I could hear my beloved boy crying hysterically until he fell asleep. I wanted to scream at myself in disgust....it also affected how he acted when he woke up. It was awful and only happened once. Now, I never let any of us go to bed if we're still upset & it's worked wonders as well.

Okay, I'm stopping. Sorry! I just have been through SO much of what you're experiencing right now and I truly hope what I've said will help you all.



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4/3/12 5:31 P

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Has anything change recently? Anything with eating time, or something big maybe? I know with my little ones whenever we change something that is kinda big it makes it very hard for them to fall asleep.My son is ADHD and i have to keep him on a schedual or it just messes everything up. I tried one time closing the door most of the way and sitting outside it with my back to it and when he would come out i would just put him back to bed and yes it does get tiring but i only had to do it for 3 nights. i also have a radio with soft music in his room he really likes. Good Luck!

laura


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4/3/12 8:00 A

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my 2 year old loved to sleep in his crib. then we moved him into a big boy bed. he slept great for a few weeks, but now he knows he can get up whenever he wants. We are lucky he goes to bed when we tell him, but he gets up very early and gets up and goes into his sister's room. I agree with one poster, just put to bed in silence after 2 or 3 times and it will stop being fun.

1 bite at a time = 1 choice at a time.
Choice is in our power; take the power and run.

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Nothing is forever why not live for today and make it the best day ever.

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IMISSOATIE's Photo IMISSOATIE Posts: 1,035
4/3/12 12:38 A

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My twins are 2 and they are still in their cribs, so I can't offer you personal advice. However, I have had a few friends in the same situation as you and they have put a gate or a babyproofing handle over the doorknob so that the toddler can't get out of the room. The rooms are completely babyproofed (meaning a lot of stuff has been moved out) so that it is safe for the child. For the first few nights the child will fall asleep on the floor, then he or she will just stay in bed.

Also, is it possible the 2nd year molars are coming in? I found my girls' sleep got disrupted when this was happening and a little bit of pain medicine (infant ibuprofen) helped a lot. Good luck!

~Heidi, Los Angeles~

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SAHMWICH's Photo SAHMWICH Posts: 2,505
4/2/12 2:32 P

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It might just be a phase. My son, who is also 2 does this as well. Some nights are better than others. I think the key is to stay calm, consistent, and quiet. The first 2 or 3 times we explain its bedtime and to stay in bed, and after that he gets the silent treatment. You don't want to give them any attention for the behavior, good or bad, just simply put her back in bed, no words, no kiss, just bed. Eventually it won't be interesting anymore and you will win the battle, and eventually the war.

~Danielle~


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4/2/12 2:11 P

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Big question here and I would love to hear from as many mothers as possible!
My daughter (who is 2) is having a problem falling asleep at night. I spend up to 3 hours a night trying to put her in bed. We have a calming bed time routine. So I know that isn't it. She's used to sleeping in her big girl bed so I know that isn't it. I just don't know how to get her to stay in her bed. We've taken her dolls away if she gets up more then 3 times, after we've warned her. We've even gone as far as giving her a swat on the butt after she's gotten up about 15 times. We make sure she's had a drink. (She isn't potty trained so that isn't the problem) Her room is a good temperature. I just don't know. Please help a mommy in NEED!!!!! emoticon

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