SP Premium
Secrets of Success

Be Your Own Friend



Every time I am tempted to think or say something negative about myself, I wonder, "Would I say that to a friend in the same situation?"

If my friend complained about "looking fat" or berated herself for one slip up, I'd encourage her rather than join in. I'd never call her lazy or disgusting, so WHY do that to myself? I've flipped the switch and started to make sure my self-talk reflects what I'd say to a friend. Sure, there are times when, if a friend got way off track, I'd have a heart-to-heart with her and try to encourage her to adopt some of her healthier habits again, but I certainly would never say, "Jane, you're a lazy cow! You might as well park your fat butt on the couch and eat a whole pizza by yourself, cause you're just gonna be fat and gross for the rest of your life." I have said those exact words to myself. Seriously. If I even heard someone talking to another human being that way, I'd intervene and put a stop to that abuse. So what makes us all think we can treat ourselves so poorly? The most surprising thing about this switch is that it's been so successful for me. More positive reinforcement from myself truly does equal more positive action! When I am exhausted and skip a workout, I tell myself that my body deserves the rest, but also deserves the changes that come from working out. I pledge to myself to work a little harder the next day, and I relish in the pride that comes from following through on that promise. It's okay to be proud. It's okay to celebrate the small victories. When I do that, I strive to accomplish more so I can feel that elation all the time.

When I think positively about myself, encourage myself, and treat myself like I would a treasured friend, I accomplish SO much more. One slip doesn't derail me for the rest of the day or week. When I do something great, I pat myself on the back, and that makes me want to continue. Maybe my belly's not where I want it to be, but my legs are looking great, and the stomach will follow if I just stick with it. This simple switch in mindset has done wonders for me!

This Sparked Me! Leave a Comment
Please note these are member-submitted secrets and are not reviewed by SparkPeople's health experts for accuracy. If you feel a secret is inappropriate, please click Report Inappropriate Secret and our staff will review it.

Member Comments

  • CD14145254
    I think you are on to something big! I feel the same way too! You have inspired me to treat myself better, starting right now. I am going to get up and go for a walk all by myself cause I can't get anyone to go with me and I need to "git ur dun"! Thank you. - by CD14145254
  • So True - I will be my friend today. Thanks for the reminder -have an awesome SPARK day. - by PURRRPY

Leave a Comment

Leave encouragement, a question, or anything else relevant to this. All comments must abide by SparkPeople's Community Guidelines.

Log in to post a comment.