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Saturday, February 16, 2008

I am putting on weight. The scale today said 126.8 - I'm not sure I really could have gained three pounds since Tuesday or a pound since yesterday and I KNOW that fluctuations happen, but I also know I'm gaining weight. I can see and feel it and it feels awful. I'm so conflicted because I love the way I feel at 120 but at the same time I want to drink sometimes, I want to eat some chocolate and dried fruit, I want to not worry once in awhile when I have sushi. I need to live like that. I don't think it is fair, and I'm mad at my body. I work out every single day, often twice a day, I don't eat red meat, I really hardly eat white bread or rice or pasta, I eat my dressing on the side, I eat all organic, egg whites only, I don't add salt, I only drink water, I don't drink coffee... do you see what I'm saying? My lifestyle is healthy - I'm disciplined! How come I'm gaining weight? It makes me so upset.

I'm going to make some modifications. I'm going to try to be lower carb, which I guess means less fruit - fruit is my weakness for sure. I just bought this "better than peanut butter" stuff and I'm going to sub that in for PB to cut some calories. I don't think I've been completely accountable on my tracker, so I'm going to try to be totally honest - logging every single bite, and I'm going to try to get back down to 120. I have to remember 5 pounds at a time...

Anyway, maintenance is much harder than losing. That's what I've learned...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can only imagine how maintenance works. That's a path I'll come across one day... I'll remember this blog.

    You've been a great inspiritation to a lot of us, stay with it. I suppose it's your way of continuing with the Spark Journey... you have to go thru it to really appreicate it. As you say, "there is no diet pill"

    I'm VERY much empathetic to hear how hard you work and it can just turn on you, but remember the journey is still on... you'll be maintaining just as you were when you were losing =)

    On the bright side, you know EXACTLY what to do... that's key! Stay with it... =)
    4904 days ago
    morning ~ I just wanted to tell you that your look great and you're definitely eating healthy so try not to worry what the scale says since it only shows a small part of the story. Do you weight train? it's great for creating definition so maybe try that since it also burns much more calories than aerobics. Is your newest goal 118 like your ticker shows? I just read a good article in "Self" magazine about finding your "happy weight" which essentially means a weight where where you look and feel great but don't have to be a slave to our scale, exercise and low calorie meals to stay there....you are right that our lives, which food is big part of, should be fun and enjoyable instead of chore...anyway, best of luck to you =)
    4905 days ago
  • T00LB0XX74
    crap what I meant was "losing is much harder than maintaining" - too much coffee while I wrote that entry. ;)
    4906 days ago
  • T00LB0XX74
    Heh well from where I'm standing maintaining is much harder than losing! Although I'm no where near my goal, you've brought one of my fears to light - once I get there, will I STAY there? And what does it take to stay there? I don't want to be a slave to calories - like you, I want to ENJOY food. I realize this is a LIFE change and not just something I'm doing to get from point A to point B. This is something I will be dealing with forfrickin ever. Enough about me. It's interesting though - the fact that you still weigh yourself everyday. Do you base how you feel by what you see on the scale? Or do you validate your "not so thin" feelings by looking at the numbers? Do you NOTICE weight fluctuation more now that you're 50 lbs lighter? I hope you discover what's causing your gain - being healthy should mean being happy too. Big love ~
    4906 days ago
    Hey girl! It's OK...because you are healthy and you are doing everything right! Remember, it's not just about what the scale says but also whether or not you are living a healthy lifestyle -- and it sounds like you are!!
    I fully expect to fluctuate a few pounds up and down after I reach goal. That's just what our bodies do. I have been weighing myself every day since I bought a scale for the house, and the scale is not even consistent throughout one day from morning to evening. Don't worry so much about it. You are healthy, in AWESOME shape, and look fantastic. Be proud!!!
    Let me know what you think of Better Than Peanut Butter. I bought it a while ago at Trader Joe's, tried it and liked it at first, then decided I really didn't like it and threw it out. LOL! But many people like it. I hope you are having a great weekend!
    4906 days ago
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