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Day 90 - Bad news on stepmother, update on daughter

Friday, May 30, 2008

This isn't the entry I was planning to write for Day 90. I've been looking forward to this day for probably two months. It's the last time I label an entry with a Day number. I was hoping it would signal solid new habits, great progress, and everything would be cheery. I do have solid new habits (exercise), but I'm still going to have to watch my constant nemsis - overeating and cheating with sweets. And everything is not cheery.

Yesterday my stepmother got the results of her 2nd needle biopsy (first one came back with no answers). She needed to know what kind of cancer she has. She battled both breast and lung cancer 2 years ago and we thought she'd beaten them both. But a couple months ago she went in for a paralyzed vocal chord. Tests showed stage 4 cancer. She just didn't know whether it was stage 4 breast cancer (2 yr average life expectancy) or lung cancer (12 month average life expectancy.)

She has lung cancer. At least between the two kinds of lung cancer (small cell and large cell) she has the slightly better large cell kind. But stage 4 lung cancer of any kind is pretty much a death sentence. So that's awful news. It's hitting us all hard. I can't imagine being my father right now.

For my daughter, we got the results of the CAT scan yesterday. Our Dr is passing us to a gastroenterologist because she thinks there is a partial blockage of the intestine. This should be extremely uncomfortable for our daughter, but she's acting completely normally. The Dr is concerned that the nerves in the area of the blockage could be dead or damaged which would require surgery to remove the non-functioning portion of the intestine. Now, we don't know if this is what is wrong. That's where the gastroenterologist comes in. We're going to get an appt next week and hopefully get some better answers and a clear plan. But I found out about Beth just 30 mins after finding out about my stepmother. An unfortunately, Monday is when I start my 2 weeks with the Air Force, so I won't be available for dr's appts. Argh! Lousy timing!

The emotional eating thing is definitely still there. When I came in the house after finding out about my stepmother, I wanted cookies - the big chewy chocolate chip kind. Luckly we don't have any of those! I settled for a dole pineapple in 100% juice instead. A much better substitute, but it still gave me a sugar fix.

I didn't exercise last night either... I developed a nasty headache. So my plan is to exercise twice today - once in the morning and once in the evening.

I saw 175.8 on the scale again this morning. So a weight of 175.5 or less is possible for tomorrow as long as I don't blow it today. I'd really like to get off this plateau and stop bouncing around. I'd like something steady and positive for a little while. That would be nice.
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  • S318830
    Thanks, guys! I appreciate the thoughts. And you're right, I would definitely hate myself in the long-run for caving into the desire to binge on bad stuff. I'm going to go back to burying my head in the sand until we see the gastroenterologist. There's nothing I can do right now, and we don't know if there's really a problem or not. So no point worrying uselessly. She's happy and outgoing, and not in any immediate danger or they'd have us at the emergency room instead of making an appt for next week. So, frankly, I'm going to try to ignore it until I'm told it's time to worry.


    4808 days ago
  • JUNKFOODJEN
    Wow, double whammy. I am sorry to hear what your family is going through. Hang in there. I'm sure your daughter will be fine although I know there is nothing more tragic than having to see your child ill and/or in pain. My daughter was born with a birth defect and that was pretty devastating so I know you must be just completely torn up right now. Just remember, though, that as much as you might be wanting to shove every sweet thing you can find into your mouth, it will only make you feel worse!!! DON'T DO IT! It might make you feel better for about 30 seconds but then you will be hating yourself.

    Hang in there!
    Jen
    4809 days ago
  • LUNDIEP
    Oh hon, I am SO sorry! I wish I lived closer and could offer help in some way! I'll be praying from here that you find out something simple and treatable for Beth.

    ((hugs))
    Lund
    4809 days ago
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