I appreciate all the advice and encouragement I've been given by all my Spark Friends - and even those of you who commented that I may not even know yet! You will all never know how much this support means to me. I know that I can be proud of myself for my determination, for losing as much as I've lost, for getting a consistant exercise program down to a science, for completing a 5k and much more. But would I still be here and have been able to do that all without you? I'm not so sure... You guys keep me going. And for that, I am SO VERY THANKFUL.
Okay. So I guess the question is - how have things been since I posted my desperate blog. Better but not fixed. I worked out yesterday! Yay!!! And it felt great and I'm going again today and tomorrow... Food... oh.. so... bad... Nothing for breakfast. Panera (is that a nationwide thing?) for lunch. I did use restraint and not get one of their very-full-of-fat-and-carbs frozen coffee drinks. I also got a You-Pick-Two meal with a 8 oz cup of french onion soup and 1/2 turkey artichoke panini sandwich - this meal actually got good marks for eating out on Spark People. I also only had about 2/3 of the soup and gave the rest to my son. Afterwards I was still having a coffee craving so I got a Tall (aka small!) Iced NONFAT Mocha from Starbucks (no whipped cream) and it was yummy and got rid of my coffee craving. But then on the way home (I was running errands and there were SEVERAL hours in between these stops) I went through a drive through (naughty...) and got a single scoop of frozen custard (very decadent ice cream for those who don't have a Culvers near them) and fried cheese curds (don't know if anyone but Wisconsinites know what they are - like little pieces of mozzerella sticks). That was one unhealthy snack! I came home and I made for dinner what I had promised a spark friend I would make (thanks for making me commit to a plan for dinner, Shan!) - a pasta dish that should be pretty healthy. But I thought I had whole wheat noodles and I didn't so I served my beautiful, fresh pasta sauce over white macaroni elbow noodles! Isn't that a cryin' shame? lol. I drank all my water and then some, but I really didn't have any veggies or even fruit. Oh yeah - I did have a smoothie in the afternoon with a banana in it. So, one fruit. Was I trying to sabotage myself? No, not really. I thought about what LUCKYDUCK had said about giving myself one guilt-free day. Then I thought about why I might be sabotaging myself and eating all kinds of junk like crackers, etc. And THEN I realized that there were a few things that I had been craving and decided that i wasn't going to go crazy, but allow myself to indulge in a few food items (I know, I know, I've been indulging a lot lately). BUT TODAY I don't feel the need for any of those items. And I don't feel guilt about eating them yesterday either. I worked out and I got in all my water plus some. And I ate small portions even in the foods that weren't smart choices.
Today I needed to do something very drastic cuz I NEED to see a loss at the scale this week. I know - lame game plan to eat ice cream and fried food two days before weigh-in. When I first started this plan in March I was so frustrated. I worked out 5 days a week, drank my water and had STARTED to watch my food, but hadn't gotten a definite eating plan down. I went up and down and up and down all month with the scale and I couldn't take it anymore. Then I got the flu and ended up losing quite a few pounds and then some and it kicked me out of my total funk. After that I was losing consistantly until a couple of weeks ago. LOSING keeps me going. But I really believe that it was hardly eating anything from the flu that shocked my system and allowed me to lose and keep going. So I am shocking my system today. Some of you may not agree with my plan, but I am doing it anyway. Hehe. I can be really determined when I want to! I'm eating 500 calories today, working out and getting in all my water. I am eating mostly fruits and veggies and a bit of dairy (also counting as protein) and some chicken - and actually a tiny bit of oil too. It's all planned out already on my food tracker if anyone wants to look at it. I know that women aren't supposed to eat less than 1200 calories a day, but I think that's long term. I don't think it will hurt me to have one low calorie day.
So, I think I have this thing under control. I am trying to get back into a healthy routine and I hope that a small (even .5 pound) loss will encourage me to keep on going and get to 45! And, taking more advice from LUCKYDUCK (that was really good advice you gave me) I am setting a new goal. Others mentioned it too and you are all correct. I need to stop thinking about the total amount or whether or not I can be 200 at Christmas. Right now I am focusing on 45 pounds. I hope to get there by the end of July.
I believe my refocus plan was a good one - but too complicated for right now. So here is my simplified baby step plan.
1 - Exercise 30 minutes or more per weekday.
2 - Get in some fruits and veggies.
3 - No eating out during the week - only once on weekend.
4 - Drink at least 8 servings of water.
5 - Work toward my 45 pound goal.
With less pressure on myself I think I can stick to those 5 baby steps. the other night I was chatting here on Spark with my friend Shan. She had a good point. How did I get as far as I did? I started with one month of going to the gym EVERY weekday NO MATTER WHAT - NO EXCUSES. And my enthusiasm and determination just EXPLODED from there. So, baby steps... here I come!!!
BTW - if you haven't checked out this No Excuses video - PLEASE DO. It's really inspiring.