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Fight to MY Finish

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Whew I am almost there....over 18 months ago I started on my journey...My journey to find me, love me, be a better me inside and out and embrace life.

My goal, my finish line for me is in 12 days...the Triathlon...I goal for me, to prove to ME that I can do it.....I have upped my workouts...been pushing and pushing for every stroke, pedal and step...

My favorite place to bike....Case Mountain.

Throughout my journey this place has been my special place...it is about 12 miles from my house, takes me about an hour to get there on my bike, enough time to clear my head and breathe...Once I get there the hike up is my release, I just leave it all on my mountain, all my struggles, fears and headaches are gone..

OK, I can't believe I just posted those silly pics, but my mountain brings out the silly in me and makes me smile from the inside out...love it!

Me, My Lexie and one of my GF's went to practice the Tri bike and run a few weeks back....the ride was good, a few hills that were a bit difficult but I felt pretty comfortable for the ride...I cant say the same for my friend...ha ha...

I keep telling her she IS doing the Tri with me next year, she is too much and I am so grateful to have such a good friend that went with me (hangover and all..haha) to support and ride with me...THANK YOU Lizzy I love you!!!

My Lexie was my running partner for the course...

OK. why is that baby girl of mine laughing and smiling and I feel like I am going to die...ha ha..the air was hot and thick...my breathing was off...but we ran part of the course for theTri, next practice run will be earlier in the day to try to avoid the heat....Thank you to my beautiful Lexie...always my Hero!

A new place that I cherish....the lake....

I have had the pleasure of swimming out here with friends for the past few weeks, I will admit at first, this girly girl was not digging it...I am a pool girl, never swam in anything other than a pool for 36 years so this was VERY differerent...but I have to admit, once I swam it a few times I fell in love...and I am VERY thankful for the friends that I have that share this great place with me....Grandma says......THANK YOU (haha)

My biggest ride so far was this past Saturday...I biked to that beautiful lake...it is over 18 miles each way and VERY HILLY...about 5 miles into the ride there, I wanted to turn back, wanted to quit...actually had a "fluffy girl" thought...I was going to ride home quick, throw my bike in the back of my Jeep and drive to friends house/lake, but park like around the corner from their house so they would never know that I didn't ride there...not proud of the thought...but I didn't do it...there was a part of the ride there that was over 6.5 miles uphill...Thank God for my Hydration Pack...was sweating like I have never sweat before...ewwww...I made it, stopped a few times for a breather but I got there...I got in my 1/2 mile swim at the lake and I a part of me was dreading the ride home...I knew that every hill I got to cruise down was going to be in front of me...made me think of one of my favorite songs...

The Climb by Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreamin' but
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"you'll never reach it".
Every step I'm taking.
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction.
My faith is shakin'
But I, I gotta keep tryin'.
Gotta keep my head held high.

There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb.

The struggles I'm facing.
The chances I'm taking.
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking.
I may not know it but these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah.
Just gotta keep going.
And I, I gotta be strong.
Just keep pushing on

The ride back....a few hills that wanted to break me, BUT I kept pushing, even had to push my bike up 2 of them (so steep I couldnt even pedal)...BUT I keep going...I finished to ride....For me it was a huge accomplishment, for me...I drove the ride after and was amazed at my own feat...tears streamed down my face and I realized something...I am an athlete! My dear friend Carol has been trying to tell me this for a long time, but it finally clicked...I know about time :)

The next week will be a test, a test against myself...to push harder, reach further and never stop...

I have been biking and swimming very hard, and I will admit my running is still a struggle for me, almost like I just freeze, I know i can do it, I have done it, but I just......freeze...

So this morning, a bump in the road....went for a run with my baby girl, not a good run, I was cranky and leg kept cramping up...I was not happy with me and my baby girl kept trying and trying to push me...but for some reason, I was my own worst enemy today...I was NOT happy with myself, what was my problem??

This is my problem...ME..I am scared to face myself, that person in the mirror, my biggest fan and my worst critic all wrapped into one...I am at the end of the line for the goal I set for myself and my fear of letting myself down has increased...I WONT LET IT....that "fluffy" girl is GONE...I won't break, I won't give up...I WILL reach for the stars!!!!!

I am very blessed to have my beautiful Lexie and so many great friends, when I feel like I am at the end of my rope they remind me that there is no such thing, there is always more rope....always.

One last thought.....This is one of my favorite quotes & today I need to read it, focus on it and apply it to myself....thought I would share with all of you....

To Achieve your Dreams Remember your ABC's.....

Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits.
Believe in yourself.
Consider things from every angle.
Don't give up and don't give in.
Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.
Family and friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches.
Give more than you planned to.
Hang on to your dreams.
Ignore those who try to discourage you.
Just do it.
Keep trying no matter how hard it is
Love yourself first and most.
Make it happen.
Never lie, cheat or steal….always strike a fair deal.
Open your eyes & see things as they really are.
Practice makes perfect.
Quitters never win & winners never quit.
Read, study and learn about everything important in your life.
Stop procrastinating.
Take control of your own destiny.
Understand yourself in order to better understand others.
Visualize it.
Want it more than anything.
You are unique..nothing can replace YOU.
Zero in on your target and go for it.

I have come too far to ever look back...I will face me & face the world...watch out here I come!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ME4CAM
    Heather... What an awesome blog ! You are amazing !!!!
    Lots of love,
    4285 days ago
    Hey there! Great blog...So glad you found so much to love in the world around you. You are truly blessed. Good luck Sunday. And I hope you leave "fluffy girl" standing at the start line to never be seen again!!!

    4292 days ago
    You're so amazing Heather!! I can't wait to see your pictures from the Triathlon! I'm sure you're going to do great!

    4295 days ago
    You are just amazing. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself here. I'm struggling so much to accept and love myself. Reading your journey is a tremendous help to me.

    You are gonna do amazing at your tri!!
    4296 days ago
    Heather, have I told you lately... you are my inspiration!!!
    4296 days ago
  • NEELU_1289
    Good work! You go girl!
    4299 days ago
    Hey, glad to see ya. Looking great. Thanks for sharing the photos.
    4302 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3375540
    Hey Heather! LOVE all the pics and glad to hear you are doing well!

    4302 days ago
  • CILLA0025
    oh and by the way...I'm copying that quote...Love it!!!
    4302 days ago
  • CILLA0025
    Hunny!!! I love your blog and you! You are such a strong woman and an inspiration. Everytime I feel like giving up, I think about you. I know we don't speak often but you are always ALWAYS ALWAYS in my thoughts!!! I'll try my darndest to get out there for your tri...but if I can't, please know that I'm there with you in spirit!!

    Hugs, hugs, and more hugs!!!!

    4302 days ago
    I love this, thankyou for giving me some direction! Love you!
    4302 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3248497
    Heather you are a work in progress, a flower who has been blooming but hasn't opened up all the way. I know one day you will defreat your mind. You are too smart, too beautiful, and too kind to let this takeover your life. One day you will look back and see how far you have come and how you took control of those demons. You are going to kick some ass on your tri. It's going to be hard as sh*t, but you are going to finish it!

    Love you Heather emoticon
    4302 days ago
    Good read I am glad that its all coming together for ya :) glad you are enjoying the lake too :P I think I see my house across the water in that pic. You are going to do the tri and you are going to do another one because from what I know its just the kind of person that you are.

    now if you can only figure out how to swim in a straight line!

    As Ever
    4302 days ago
    It's so interesting how sometimes we just zone out and are our own enemy all the while there are tons of people who feel inspired and motivated by us....by YOU!

    Here is MY personal quote this week to help keep me pushing....we can share it :)

    "Most barriers to your success are man-made. And most often, you're the man who made them." Frank Tyger.

    4302 days ago
    Awesome blog Sistah!! You can and will do this!! I must tell you its not really the body we face during weight loss or personal achievements.. is our MIND!! If you set your MIND to do it you will achieve anything!! You have come so far and worked so hard to let the devil win... You have and always be my HERO!! I wish you nothing but the best on your TRI trust me when your foot hits that finish line you will be a crying mess but a good cry to say the least... You have accomplished something you never thought you could!! I ran 16 miles this weekend my longest to date and at mile 8 I wanted to quit I even puked because I was so drained and the heat was kicking my ass but I threw up set my mind and finished the last 8.. not the best run but I did it! So now you can and will DO THIS!! Im so proud of you and love you very much!! Now KICK BUTT MY BFF!!!
    Love you & Miss you so much!!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4302 days ago
    My mama always used to say, "Smile no matter what, eventually you'll believe it yourself. Let life happen and go with it, fighting against it won't get you anywhere anyway. Laugh a lot, it's good for your muscles."

    She had lots of other "truisms", but these are some of my favorites. She is the voice in my head : )
    4302 days ago
    Good luck!.. I know you can do it.. You have accomplished so much already.. this is yours!!!!.... Have a great time..
    4302 days ago
    Good Luck with the Triathlon! I'm sure you'll do great!

    I love the picture, that would be an amazing place to leave all the stress behind!

    Keep up the Amazing Attitude!

    4302 days ago
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