Even the strong are weak - sometimes
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
The Bible tells us that all of us fall short of the glory. Smart man who wrote that.
I'm here tonight with a confession: I fell short.
The other night a sparkfriend commented on my blog saying I had amazing willpower. I answered back, a little self-righteously, with something to the effect of not giving in to my cravings because NO tenderloin tastes as good as THIN feels!
Uh-huh. I actually (with good motivational intentions) wrote those words and then CRAVED a freakin' breaded pork tenderloin ever since!
Well folks, it's Wednesday and on Wednesdays our local diner just down the street conveniently has 2 4 1 tenderloin night. Comes with fries and a drink even. Did my husband want to go?
He asked if it was some sort of a trick. After all my last blog about the buffet pretty much cast him in a somewhat unsupportive light. He wasn't going to end up in another blog for public viewing was he?
Off to the diner we went. In all fairness to the diner you could substitute the deep fried breaded pork tenderloin for a plain grilled pork tenderloin. You could sub a salad for the fries.
Nope. No subs. I had to get the darn craving out of my system. My husband cast me a wary look as I ordered the whole shebang. Topped off with a DIET cola - I am trying to keep my weight off after all.
The waitress wasn't to the kitchen before I started fretting. My husband said he thought that this hadn't been a good idea. Finally he said if I kept obsessing he was going to call the waitress back and cancel the order. I shut up, but quietly kept working myself into a tizzy.
It arrived on the plate in all it's glory -- huge - hanging over the edge of the bun. Pickles, onions, on the side. Surrounded by a mound of crinkle cut fries with just a smidgen of room left on the plate for ketchup.
It looked good, smelled fried but not greasy. Oh for God's sake, I told myself. Get a grip it's a tenderloin not strychnine!! Enjoy it. You haven't eaten one in maybe three years.
I dug in to the hot fries. Nibbled all the over hanging pork and started to feel full. Good right?
No to a charter member of the clean plate club. I had a long way to go. Did I really want to eat to point of bloated caloric overload? No I didn't, I realized.
That was my former life. Each and every meal.
I ate about half. Took off part of the bun. Shared the rest of the fries with my husband and covered the remaining food with my napkin.
THIN still feels better then that tenderloin tasted.
But it's over. I'm confessing. Not beating myself up. I'm still a healthy eater. Most of all --
I'm not a hypocrite, I'm human :)