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MORE TEARS!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Here I am again sitting at my computer crying and trying to make some sense of the days events and pouring it out on yet another sad blog. Rich got a phone call late this afternoon from our neighbor Greg who is almost like a son to us telling him that his beautiful wife Monica our hairdresser has asked him to move out and wants a divorce she said she doesn't love him anymore! Now these kids are like family to us and they have four absolutely beautiful kids Josh 18, Jake 16 a junior in highschool, Kylan an adorable little 6th grader with the kindest heart I have ever seen and then little Kalei 3 years old. We are simply SICK needless to say. I am sure there simply has to be another man involved in all of this since it doesn't make sense to just say what she said without there being another person involved. Monica is a really pretty woman and many men would find her most attractive she is small, adorable and has a wonderful smile with a great personality that any man would find attractive. She also happens to work with another gal that is single and I am sure this has encouraged all of this as well. Greg is just one of the nicest guys you could meet he is all about his family, funny and loving so this is ripping him up I am sure. Rich encouraged Greg to take her to dinner tonight and talk in private before the told the kids which she wanted to do tonight but I noticed they were home when Rich and I got back from dinner so don't know if they did that or not but if they did I guess it didn't go well. How does a woman do this especially this time of year just before Christmas to her family? This is a FAMILY that is all about FAMILY so it is going to devastate them all. I know when I went through my divorce many many years ago I had only ME to care for and it was more then I could do so I can not imagine dealing with 4 kids as well. I am just sick. And YES I know they are NOT my kids and it shouldn't directly effect us but it does breaks your heart to see any family fall apart. Greg said she absolutely will not go to any counseling she said she doesn't need it, now that is crazy to me wouldn't you think after 21 years of being together and raising your family you woud do anything to keep it intact? That tells me there simply HAS to be someone else involved in all of this. It is the only thing that makes any sense. Which makes me start wondering about how easily it is to become infactuated with another person and convince yourself that it is so much better then the person you have at home. Which brings back all the memories of my own first marriage falling apart when he decided to have an affair with my best friend. I hate reliving that part of my life, and so seldom go there anymore but this sure brings those thoughts up to ponder yet one more time. I know Marla was just going through this one of her family as well and we all advised her to pray for them and not dwell on it so Marla tell me the same thing! I already know that. Sure doesn't stop the hurting in your heart when you care for both of them. Not to mention what this is going to do to their kids.
And again here I am amazed that it's always here I turn to when life goes upside down!!
Thank you guys you are the best of the best!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MOMMA_BEAR_69
    Praying for all involved. Remember to take care of yourself as you also have many things on your plate at the moment!!! Continuing prayers for Laurie also. One moment at a time.
    Blessings and hugs,
    Helen
    4237 days ago
  • DANDDPOFF
    oh cheryl, it is so hard to think what is going on in someone,s mind . you and me know that all too well my friend. diviorce is never easy in any ones family, and they seem to be family to you. all you can do is offer support and be there for them when they need you.
    hugs my friend
    donna
    4237 days ago
  • MARLA7
    Cheryl - So sorry to hear your neighbor is going through this with his wife. Some people can be purely SELFISH when it comes to this stuff... sounds like SHE IS. As you all told me when I first found out my niece wanted a divorce & moved out & had already found someone else (online).... PRAY. Let go and Let God. Be there for Greg & the kids if they need you. I also hate seeing families break apart. It's even worse around the Holiday Season. People hurt people. Plain and simple. They don't care or think of who all is hurt from doing things like this. It is devastating except to the one who wants out. (((((Hugs))))) Dear Friend. That's what I love about you. You're so very caring & compassionate. Love, Marla
    4238 days ago
  • KSNICKER
    Cheryl - How sad to read your blog my friend. I agree with what the others have said... And agree that you must of really cared for this couple to let it effect you like it has. What a friend you are...

    This has also sent me back to my previous 2 marriages... The first one I was cheated on so many times, but was so young and gullible that I barely even knew about it. But the 2nd was different... There was no other person... no cheating involved... I was just over it and asked him to leave. He was an alcoholic and I just couldn't deal any longer... So you never know what HER real reason is.
    Just do what you do so well and BE A GOOD FRIEND... She will share with you if she wants too.
    ((big hugs)) and sending prayers for Your sister Laurie today...

    Love you...
    Kathy
    4238 days ago
  • AMLEHNKURT
    Cheryl I agree with everyone here so far.

    Feel for your friends, who feel like family. I am sure Greg appreciates it, but as Char said, don't give advice unless asked for it and you don't know what has gone on behind closed doors.

    Jack went through a similar thing too with his ex and did go through Christmas for Christopher's sake, but it wasn't nice. No time is a good time to break up a family, you just have to deal with it.

    Why put up a phoney front for the kids, who are probably aware of the problems in the first place. That doesn't help anyone either. The sooner things become the norm again, the better for everyone, instead of pretending to be the family you aren't.

    I too would feel for my friends, however you can't let it eat you up just like Deuce said. It is their issue and you can be there for support.
    4238 days ago
  • BUFFALOGAL1952
    Cheryl, this is such a sad situation. But Char said it right...we never know what goes on beind closed doors. There may be more to it than meets the eye. I sure hope they really stop and take some time to talk. There are too many lives involved that are going to be greatly affected by these decisions they are making. I will add my prayers in the hopes that even if they end up moving forward and break up the family, there will still be love and understanding present to see them all through it. Blessings and prayers for this family.
    Claudia
    4238 days ago
  • DEUCE119
    I wish I could tell you how much you writing this down has meant to me today. I have been there and done that myself so every word was like a knife. I wish I had made better choices and always regretted it. I hope she doesn't do the same, and has given this some really good time for thinking things thru. As for you, let go or it could eat you up and there isn't much you can do but be there if they need you. emoticon
    4238 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2244567
    OH CHERYL HOW SAD!WE HAVE HAD THAT HAPPEN IN THE FAMILY ROY'S SISTER AND ALSO A FRIEND! IT IS SO MUCH WORSE WHEN KIDS ARE INVOLVED.I HAVE TOLD ROY DON'T EVER LET ME BE THE LAST TO FIND OUT! CAUSE IT WON'T BE PRETTY!IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU WHAT REALLY GOOD FRIENDS YOU ARE TO HAVE IT HURT YOU AS BADLY AS IT IS. NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO BUT SAY SOME PRAYERS AND JUST BE THERE FOR THEM AND LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAY TO YOU AND ONLY IF ASKED YOU CAN GIVE ADVISE.YOU ONLY KNOW ONE SIDE BUT I TO COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WOULD DO SOMETHING THAT THEY WOULDN'T WANT DONE TO THEM. AND ALSO THEY CAN'T BE THINKING OF THEIR KIDS TO EVEN LET THIS HAPPEN.I TO WOULD TRY COUNSELING FIRST.IT'S SO HARD TO TRUST SOMEONE EVER AGAIN WHEN SOMETHING LIE THIS HAS HAPPENED AND NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT YOU EVER FORGET I HAVE BEEN THERE BUT DON'T TALK ABOUT IT.IT HURTS WAY TO BAD.YOU DO AND WIL FORGIVE BUT NEVER EVER FORGET.ONE DAY AT A TIME DEAR FRIEND ONE DAY AT A TIME. WE NEVER KNOW WHAT GOES ON BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.HUGS,CHAR
    4238 days ago
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