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Friday, December 11, 2009

When my son was 16 he had the opportunity to go to Thailand on a missions trip. I was so excited for him, he is great guy and this would be an opportunity of a life time. I was also fighting my fears for him, actually my fears for me. What if something happened to the plane? What if he got sick? What if he got lost? What if he got hurt? I love him dearly and would never want him to be hurt or ill, but truth be told I was afraid for me. How would I ever forgive myself if something happened to him. How would I ever live if I lost him. I held these fears in my heart and only shared thoughts of joy and excitement with my son. As the weeks went by in preparation for his trip, I began dealing with my fears one by one. I realized that if I allowed my fears to continue to grow I would be paralyzed and it would prevent me from fully enjoying this moment with my son. Furthermore, I wanted him to LIVE passionately in his life. I didn't want him to feel insecure or overly cautious. I wanted him to explore and challenge himself.

I knew who he was, the character of his soul, the integrity of his life, the depth of the passion in his heart. I could not hold this young man 'at port' any longer. He was created to do great things and if I continued to harbor fears, I would be the anchor that kept him in the harbor, close to shore. I wanted him to be free to unfurl his sails and feel the fullness of what it is to live a life of passion.

I spent the next couple weeks praying for him and me. I so wanted for him and for me all the wonderful things that this experience could offer. As I packed his bag, I tucked little cards in his pockets and in his Bible that had affirmations, words of love and prayers on them. These little affirmations where for him as well as they were for me. One of the quotes I put in his suitcase was "A ship at port is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." It was time to cut lose the moorings and sit in awe as this beautiful ship set sail.

So, my question is, what is fear holding you back from experiencing? What would your life be like if you were living in the fullness of the passion you were created for? What would your life be like if you truly believed, that when those ropes that keep you safely at port loosen and allow you slip out of dock, you will be magnificent. You will be in uncharted waters, there may be choppy waves, there may be smooth sailing, there may be moments when you wonder why you didn't just stay in port safely. For me, I will choose to unfurl my sail, head out into the open waters and live with passion.
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    This blog was amazing! I have a ten year old son and I can only imagine how torn and conflicted you felt to send him that far out beyond your reach. You are an amazing person to have blessed him with your blessing to go forward and have a wonderful experience. Fear is so powerful, and at times the fear that we don't know even exists in our hearts and minds can be the strongest. Thanks for the thought provoking blog............. :)
    4165 days ago
    I'm living with my fear right now. I'm doing what I always said it would be nice one day to be able to do. :-) I was terrified of P90X. Thank you for reminding me. emoticon
    4165 days ago
    Just... Thank you!
    4166 days ago
    Carolyn...my dear friend...as usual I read your blogs and say to myself...what a wise and wonderful friend I have found in Carolyn. Then a send a kiss and a prayer off to you and your sweet self! I've learned so much from your blog and I know now that i wish I could have read it years ago..because I held onto our dear Josh with both arms and hands and probably my toes too!

    We had almost lost him so many times..childbirth, car accident, nurses that were on drugs while he was just a wee one and ignoring him causing yet another near fatal accident while and DH were working...fear does strange things to people...it makes them immobile.

    You were and ARE a very wise wonderful soul to recognize this and cast off those fears for the strength of your son's development and he will be a stronger, happier guy for the growth and experience you are stepping aside to let him experience.

    I wish I would have had this information at hand years ago...I've also learned that what you put your focus on...good or bad...is what the universe brings to you.

    When I get down in the dumps I immediately smack myself and reach for my gratitude journal...or hey...from now on I'll just page back to one of your blogs!

    Big hug and a kiss! emoticon
    4166 days ago
    You certainly have a way with words. Your blog is very inspiring and was wonderful to read.
    4166 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4811290
    Love this blog! Thank you for these wise words on this friday morning.
    (congrats with losing 2.2 pounds! Awesome!)
    4166 days ago
    Beautiful post!
    Here's to living with the wind in our hair!
    4166 days ago
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