"IN SPITE OF ALL OF US..."
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Hello all! I know it's been a while since I blogged. It's not because I don't want to be here, but I'm sure you all know what a crazy time of year this is - and it was my daughter's birthday and I planned a big 'ol suprise party on top of all that Christmas craziness. So, here I am, ready to give an update.
Hmm.... where do I begin? Well, I think I mentioned previously that my new neurologist, Dr. Kutluay, was concerned that I was only being seen by a midwife and not a High Risk specialist. When she saw his comment in my paperwork from that appointment, she didn't seem concerned about and frankly, neither was I. I know that she defers to the four doctors in that practice on pretty much all the details and I feel like I am well taken care of. But, just to satisfy him, I did tell him that I would see the head doctor of the group I am with - Dr. Dolan. I only met him once while I was pregnant with Skyler and I love his personality. He makes you feel so comfortable and he KNOWS HIS STUFF and makes you feel totally at ease in his care. He's so personable and has a cute Irish accent (I love guys with accents) and so I was happy to have one appointment with him. I made the right decision. Let's back up just a tiny bit. Does anyone remember me mentioning the jelly bean test? They let me do that instead of drinking that nasty Glucola for the glucose test. Well, not only am I NOT at risk for gestational diabetes, but my blood sugar was LOW. That made me laugh - and because I've had a history of low blood sugar as long as I can remember and have handled it well all these years, Dr. Dolan was not concerned. I have to say though, eating 28 jelly beans in 5 minutes doesn't sound that hard - but it was! I still had 7 left when there were only 15 seconds left on the clock - can't remember when I crammed in candy that chewed that fast before! And then I couldn't drink any water for an hour... ick! But, in the end it turned out fine. And my appointment with Dr. Dolan? Awesome. That sums it up about right. He was just as sweet and funny as I remembered him and I gotta tell you - he is very comfortable with all the aspects of a woman's body - to the point that it made me comfortable. I told him that I've been having the outside part of both of my thighs go numb - I mean to the point where I can slap or poke them and not feel ANYTHING. I was concerned but he totally wasn't. He said it's normal and showed me where a nerve goes up my leg - a nerve that happened to go all the way up under my lower stomach fat roll - and he stuck his fingers up there to show me where the nerve went! It felt strange because even my HUSBAND isn't that comfortable with my body. But it didn't phase him - and I liked that. To him it's part of his job and when he's comfortable that makes the patient comfortable. And when the appointment ended (only about 5 minutes after he got there, lol) I said, "So he seems to be doing well?"
And Dr. Dolan said, "You baby is doing fantastically, in spite of all of us...".
I'm so glad he said that. When I think about it even now, it make me want to cry - but happy tears. God is the one who blessed us with this baby in a time that weren't expecting a baby or even wanting a baby. We have seen the benefits already and our son isn't even born! Joe and I are closer than we've been in years. He's being more caring and understanding. We are both working together to be better parents to our son and daughter. We are working harder to be more responsible with our finances (and we have a goal of getting our van and one credit card paid off before the baby is even born). We are trying to get our house more organized before the baby comes. And, to go back to what Dr. Dolan said - yes, it's not because of us that this baby is doing so well. I haven't taken my folic acid as often as I should have. Because of my blood clotting disorder I was told by my midwife that I should take a baby aspirin every day (instead of the blood thinners) but I haven't done that either. I probably should have been trying to take walks a few times a week, but haven't done that either. And I maybe should have eaten a few more salads and and little less fast food - and maybe a bit less caffiene too (no, I don't have much, but some people think preggos shouldn't have any...). And I maybe should be getting a bit more sleep at night and maybe my body would be less tired if I bought one of those fancy maternity pillows to sleep with..... But in spite of all that the doctors have watched for , the meds I have taken or not taken, my imperfect diet and lack of exercise and the prescription meds that I take that can cause birth defects - my baby is doing fantastically. It is only because the hand of God is on him. I don't know why God thought I needed a baby right now, but I'll go back to just a couple weeks after I found out. I was still slightly freaked out and very scared of gaining any weight. And Joe encouraged me. He told me that while he was thinking about this situation and praying about it, he felt encouraged. He said God was telling him, "This is the best thing for you." And it has been. Do I like the fact that I have gained 15 pounds and still have 16 weeks to go? Not really. Am I happy that my back aches somethin' awful? Nope. Or that my feet feel like they are swelling? No, don't like that either. But aside from those temporary things, there are some positive, permanent changes happening here - and it's because of this new situation.
And you know, with having a lack of energy and less mobility, I have been learning to try to simplify things. Take shortcuts on meal prep or cleaning or find more efficient ways to do things. I've also been taking more time (usually while I'm sitting down to rest) to be appreciative of what I have. I love to cuddle with my pomeranian Tucker. He's got the right idea about life. He's always happy - and it makes everyone around him happy too. And I just sit and appreciate my kids - for their individuality. And I think about Joe while he's at work and I miss him (yes, even after just 5 hours) and I appreciate SO MUCH what a 180 our relationship has done in the past 6-9 months. I love spending time with him, even if it's just cuddling in bed, watching Seinfeld. And, for the first time in a long time (maybe even since we were engaged), Joe told me that I was his best friend. I guess I always hoped he still felt that way, but I didn't really expect it when we were going through some hard times in our marriage. He's not a very gooey, emotional kind of guy, and he said it so sincerely and it really touched my heart. I just love that guy (even though he still throws his clothes on the floor!).
I have so much to be thankful for, and I can wait to see this cute little guy (who is right now hitting me way down low in my belly - probably thankful for the salad and spaghetti and garlic bread I just ate). Just 16 weeks or so left and I get to see his face and hold him in my arms - and my life will never be the same again. And that's okay...
I know it's past Thanksgiving, but this Christmas I know I'll be thinking about what I am truly appreciate of and thankful for. I have so much and am loved by so many. This Christmas, I hope that my efforts to simplify and plan ahead will give me more peace of mind. I hope that I will be able to enjoy my family and rest my body, and not feel crazy with worry about wrapping presents and making meals. I want to focus on why we celebrate Christmas, be thankful for God's gift of giving up his own Son to come to earth just for us, and truly appreciate all that I have surrounding me... and I hope you are all able to do the same.
From my home to yours - have a wonderful and blessed Christmas...