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Out of my shell.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

I used to be the kind of person who'd go to a party and end up sitting in a corner awkwardly having small talk with someone I just met, while my friends and everyone else would be up dancing and having a blast. I didn't like to be this kind of person and I wanted to get out there and have fun... but I wasn't comfortable enough with myself to do it. I couldn't dance without worry about how I looked, and I couldn't talk to someone without worrying about what they were thinking about me - it was a vicious cycle and I always found myself wondering why I even attended that party.

But a couple days ago I made an pact with myself to break out of my shell, and the perfect opportunity was coming up; a bonfire with 17 other people I didn't know. People that I thought were too popular, people that normally I'd be intimidated by and live in a corner hiding from. This was my test.

At first I found myself wanting to leave and wishing that I could go home (the guy running the bonfire was my ride so I couldn't). Then I remembered my pact and let go of some of my inhibitions (not all of them - I wasn't running around naked or anything). I HAD A GREAT TIME. I danced, laughed, met new people, smiled more than I talked, and laughed more than I smiled. And I don't think I've ever talked as much as I did on the ride home.

The whole night I kept telling myself "Who cares what _____ thinks. Am I having fun? Good. That's all that matters". I've decided that I no longer want to live in that shell. I'm out of it for good.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I envy how you took the initiative to just do that :)
    That's so amazing!!
    I'm still stuck in the not-comfortable-in-my-own-skin phase...I should probably change that. Haha. You've inspired me to re-think my insecurities.
    4132 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/18/2010 3:14:51 AM
    Woo HOOO!! Way to go!! 2009 was my year to come out of my shell...and it was worth it. You have a lot of fun ahead of you!
    4133 days ago
  • no profile photo CD312800
    That's awesome! I'm happy you're coming out of your shell. That's something I cotinue to struggle with but have improved on.

    4133 days ago
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