Out of my shell.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
I used to be the kind of person who'd go to a party and end up sitting in a corner awkwardly having small talk with someone I just met, while my friends and everyone else would be up dancing and having a blast. I didn't like to be this kind of person and I wanted to get out there and have fun... but I wasn't comfortable enough with myself to do it. I couldn't dance without worry about how I looked, and I couldn't talk to someone without worrying about what they were thinking about me - it was a vicious cycle and I always found myself wondering why I even attended that party.
But a couple days ago I made an pact with myself to break out of my shell, and the perfect opportunity was coming up; a bonfire with 17 other people I didn't know. People that I thought were too popular, people that normally I'd be intimidated by and live in a corner hiding from. This was my test.
At first I found myself wanting to leave and wishing that I could go home (the guy running the bonfire was my ride so I couldn't). Then I remembered my pact and let go of some of my inhibitions (not all of them - I wasn't running around naked or anything). I HAD A GREAT TIME. I danced, laughed, met new people, smiled more than I talked, and laughed more than I smiled. And I don't think I've ever talked as much as I did on the ride home.
The whole night I kept telling myself "Who cares what _____ thinks. Am I having fun? Good. That's all that matters". I've decided that I no longer want to live in that shell. I'm out of it for good.