Ramblings, life sucks...
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
First off, I've been doing Jillian's 30 Day Shred for about 8 days now. I did 5 days of Level 1, had a day off (just too tired), then I decided I wanted to switch it up, as I was getting bored of the same ol' moves. So I started Level 2, and have been doing it for 3 days. The changes to my legs have been phenominal... at least in the quads. I can "feel" the muscle building under there. I keep looking in the mirror and still the cellulite persists. I asked on the board today if I need to lose a few more lbs, or work on toning, etc. in order to fix my hiney, and I was told "you can't get rid of cellulite". ::: gasp ::: what?!?!? If this is true then I will NEVER be going in a bathing suit of any kind on a beach on any planet in our solar system. I'm soo horrified by this news... seriously, it just... well, sucks! Sooo many people have nice hineys, why the heck can't I have one too???
On another note, by talking with a co-worker yesterday I found out that it's likely panic/anxiety attacks that I get from time to time. I had one yesterday at work. I was called in the conference room for a meeting that lasted a few hours. Now I already knew that I don't do well in large crouds. I was actually fine during the meeting, but as soon as I got out, I went to my office and started feeling "it". Feelings of the lights being waaay too bright, the heat was waaay too hot, and then when I turn that off, it was too cold. My head began to throb... and when this happens I have to hold it. I dunno if I'm trying to keep it from exploding or just keep it off the desk. A lot of times when this happens I feel the need to vomit. I feel a numminess steal over me. I can't concentrate on anything... and just feel like absolute crap. Usually I just go home and within a couple hours of laying in bed with my eyes closed then I feel 100% again. Yesterday I decided to hold off going home and see what happens. And within an hour I was able to work again. I did however retain the headache and was feeling pretty crappy by the time I left for home (but that was due more to not eating enough in the afternoon). One time I had one in the shower and I was getting sooo hot, and soo dizzy and then I couldn't breathe, I HAD to get out of the shower, and lay on the tile till it passed. Anyways, I'd never have even considered that they could be panic attacks, but after talking with my co-worker who said "you don't look so good"... and then explaining how I'm feeling (because she thought I might be contageous with something), I'm beginning to think it fits... so maybe. Now I just need to figure out how to deal with them when they crop up, or stop them before they get too far.
TMI-time (you may just want to skip this part).
I also recently discovered another flaw with my body. I seem to have a problem with "bouncing". I discovered this while doing the shred. When I'm doing the jumping jacks, etc. I can't hold my bladder. I even empty it thorougly before I start, and remember it's only a 20 min workout... but by circuit 3 the bouncing is a definite problem. This also sucks!! So I have to wear something when I do it... oh freakin' joy!! I did some reading and it seems that I can try doing keegal exercises... but you have to keep doing them for life in order to keep the muscles strong. Probably should start now tho. hmmpt.
Well... that's enough of that talk for a lifetime. I think I'll just go pout in a corner or something.