Thursday, April 22, 2010
Since August, when I moved back home from my stint on campus over the summer, until January 1st, I gained 8 pounds.
It doesn't seem like a lot, but that was only 4 months. That means I might have gained as much as 24 pounds last year if I hadn't been focusing on what I was eating and trying to improve my lifestyle.
On the other hand, 8 pounds isn't really a lot. For most people at a healthy weight, a 5 pound fluctuation throughout the year is normal. Also, I was forbidden from losing weight because the wedding was in November. And, oh yeah, there was that week long stay at Disney where we ate out ever meal of every day.
I guess in the end 8 pounds is 8 pounds. I could probably have tried a little harder to keep them off, but I'm a very on or off person. I don't do in between very well.
Anyway, since January, I have been participating in a Biggest Loser competition at my school. We got our own Bob and Jillian, workouts every day, and had to track our food using another website.
Overall, it was one of the best experiences of my life. Great friends, killer training, and a feeling of kinship. I lost *almost* 20 pounds, bringing me today to 195.2 pounds (It kills me to type that "1" I can't really believe it myself =D ).
If I am honest with myself, though, I wonder where I went wrong with the program. I frequently lost much less than the two pounds per week goal I set for myself, and I can't quite figure out why. I ate the right amount of calories, and I worked my everliving ass off at the gym, but I fell quite short of my weight goal every time. I hope that it is not indicative of what is to come. I don't like fighting to lose each pound because I have such a long way to go.
On the brighter side, I have learned that my body can do things I never thought possible. I have learned how to run on a treadmill, even if it's not very fast. I have learned that I kinda love running, even though, again, it's not very fast. I've learned that I shouldn't be afraid to try things at the gym. And that unless you get out of breath and sweaty, you're not working hard enough. I can't believe how different my body has become. My legs are leaner (well, my calves anyway), and my arms are stronger. If I didn't have so much excess skin on my arms, you could probably see my bicep. My body feels like it's not mine, and I love it.
And now I am sad, because it is over. I cannot afford personal training sessions, so I can't continue to work out with my "Bob" or "Jillian" and I know that I cannot push myself as hard and as safely as they can. I hope that they have taught me enough random ideas to keep me interested. But without the school gym (because I am graduating) and no other access to free weights, or resistance bands, or a track, I don't know how far I can take it. I am hopeful that this isn't a passing phase with me, and that I really become a gym rat on my own.