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Moral obligations...

Saturday, April 24, 2010

When does a moral obligation stop being an obligation?? I have always been the one to go to those in need and help out. Usually, I am called by them or another family member to do so. But, I have found that when the individual in need begins to take advantage of you both physically AND emotionally that you have to stop "helping".

Sparks has given me the mental and emotional strength to finally be able to stand up for myself and stop being a doormat! Moral obligation or not, the obligation stops when you are they begin taking advantage of you!!! Then, you should NOT feel any remorse, guilt or shame!! You have to answer to God for what you do (going to help in the first place) and they have to answer to God for what they do (taking advantage)!!!

Answer the call but, don't stay on the line too long!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • AQUAJANE
    Yup, sometimes "help" isn't helpful. emoticon
    4077 days ago
  • STARLASUE
    Good blog. thanks!
    4077 days ago
  • CHANGEITIS7
    Way to take care of yourself.
    The Boundries book is excellent and they also have a website so you can hear him talk or his partner John Townsend... I learned how I allowed others to take advantage and how to let go of the guilt (they will be calling you again and guilt will send you to do their stuff-works for them!).
    Thanks for the encouragement and I am glad your daughter talked you into joining us!!
    emoticon
    4077 days ago
  • TBRANCH2
    Thank you for all of your comments! It has really been a backing letting me know that I have made the right decisions!! I love my spark family and friends!! emoticon
    4077 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3802882
    I agree with you. We also have an obligation to ourselves to treat ourselves as well as we treat others. Someone can only use you as long as you let them. I love the fact that you can see what is happening and are putting a stop to it now! Good for you!
    4077 days ago
  • LEONARS
    You can't help those who don'thelp themselves!
    4077 days ago
  • SHARKAR02
    Your words are so true. Also, drawing that line hopefully will also help that person to take control of the situtation rather than continually "knowing" they don't have to worry about the outcome because you'll bail them out. Been there and it is so hard to say no, but once done it's almost as if a rock's been lifted off you. Hang int there!
    4077 days ago
  • DONNABRIGHT
    This is always such a battle for me - thanks for the words that will help me to "just say no" when it is necessary.
    4077 days ago
  • ANGELFMABV
    You are so right! Thank you for sharing! You go lady!
    4077 days ago
  • MARY1313
    CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!!! You are exactly right. Some people take kindness for stupidity. there are just some people you can't help no matter what. they insist on taking advantage of you and then you are hurt and upset. nope that isn't right. I'm glad you are standing up for yourself! Your first duty is to you and your husband!

    Mary
    4077 days ago
  • MARY1313
    emoticon
    4077 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/24/2010 11:11:33 AM
  • SEWSWITHHOTGLUE
    Yes, and in addition to your obligation to yourself to not become a doormat, it's wrong to create a dependency in the other person. You are right to draw the line.
    4077 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/24/2010 1:10:01 PM
  • SIANAN74
    I struggled with this as well and highly recommend you read "Boundaries : When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life" by Henry Cloud. I finally have control back in my life and can now understand the fine line of moral obligation.

    emoticon
    4077 days ago
  • MUSIC2HISEARS
    Amen!!!! It does have to stop when an obligation becomes being taken advantage. It is always good to sit back and re-evaluate how helping others is no longer what it is...helping a friend in need.
    4077 days ago
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