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helping those that help themselves....

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Have you ever had those people that you feel sorry for and know that with just a little bit of help that they could accomplish sooo very much?? And then, when you do help and they begin to move forward and you "let go" they just plummet. So, you reach out and help again and again and again.... It is kind of like the kid learning to ride without training wheels.... Anyway, my point is that EVENTUALLY, you MUST let go and let them fall!! Once they pick themselves up a few times, they hopefully will learn.

We have to STOP being their "training wheels"!! Either they will get tired of falling and learn to ride or they will find a new set of training wheels. Meanwhile, we have ridded ourselves of the "extra load" of responsibilities!

I am not saying not to help people...I am saying that we have to learn when to let go. If we don't, then they will NEVER learn to "ride" by themselves...AND, some people don't....We all have the to make the decision of learning to ride by ourselves or not...I have chosen to ride and to let go so that others can learn to ride also!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    How to help without enabling or making people dependent. That is a tough question for sure. Sounds like you have been wrestling with it and winning. Sounds like a plan. Hope it works well. You deserve to be able to take care of your own needs first. -Marsha
    4061 days ago
    Thanks for sharing. Hope it helps with the stress...sometimes I'm glad that when typing I can't open the fridge or goody tin....
    4063 days ago
    Nice Blog! Thank you for sharing. emoticon
    4064 days ago
  • SIANAN74
    I gave that up a long time ago and it is freeing.

    My thoughts are - I will help those that cannot help themselves. For those that need a little extra support, I will be there BUT first time, shame on you - second time, shame on me. It only takes one burn to stop me from helping people... and they are told that before my help is given.

    Best of luck!

    4064 days ago
  • MARY1313
    Good for you Theresa! And there is a difference from just needing a little boost now and then to not doing a single thing for yourself unless someone is leading you by the hand. that's not helping that enabling. And some people just take kindness for stupidity and you are way too nice to allow that to happen to you! Good for you!!!!

    4064 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4256071
    you are right emoticon
    4065 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5198989
    I am using Spark People as my training wheels. I need to eventually let go and try it on my own. Not do without SPeople, but not use it as a crutch.
    4065 days ago
    You have a list of them kind!
    4065 days ago
    You are right on target with this blog Theresa!!! This is especially true of your kids but could be applied in other areas as well. Thanks for giving me lots to think about!

    4065 days ago
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