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All or nothing

Saturday, December 04, 2010

I have such an 'all or nothing' attitude about my health. If I'm on a roll, I'm on a roll. If I eat a cookie at lunch time, I somehow feel 'hey! What the heck! I'll just eat whatever I want, and start new tomorrow.' Except I do that *every day*, not just once or twice a week.

I notice that, perhaps for the first time in my life, I'm emotional-eating. Feeling so strung out from taking care of everyone and everything else, and in the moment, it feels like eating this piece of junk food is 'taking care' of myself, because it tastes good. And, of course, it's not taking care of myself at all. It's just loading my machine with junk, junk, junk. I can't believe the mental disconnect though.

I'm sitting here tonight, watching my baby sleep, and noticing my feelings and reactions. I'm actually disgusted by my actions, even though it's just food it's just not who I know myself to be.

My baby deserves better. My husband deserves better. *I* deserve better.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow. . . Thank you for your supportive comments. Last night was a hard night; I'm hoping it was a 'rock bottom' sort of night, where there's nothing to do but improve. And, indeed, I had a much better day. Thank you again.
    3813 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7056031
    Life with kids is stressful. You need to be good to yourself. Try making one small change at a time and sticking with it, something that is meaningful and realistic for you. And don't beat yourself up because you can't do it all at once.

    emoticon emoticon
    3813 days ago
  • no profile photo EVILYNP
    be nice to yourself.

    3813 days ago
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