All or nothing
Saturday, December 04, 2010
I have such an 'all or nothing' attitude about my health. If I'm on a roll, I'm on a roll. If I eat a cookie at lunch time, I somehow feel 'hey! What the heck! I'll just eat whatever I want, and start new tomorrow.' Except I do that *every day*, not just once or twice a week.
I notice that, perhaps for the first time in my life, I'm emotional-eating. Feeling so strung out from taking care of everyone and everything else, and in the moment, it feels like eating this piece of junk food is 'taking care' of myself, because it tastes good. And, of course, it's not taking care of myself at all. It's just loading my machine with junk, junk, junk. I can't believe the mental disconnect though.
I'm sitting here tonight, watching my baby sleep, and noticing my feelings and reactions. I'm actually disgusted by my actions, even though it's just food it's just not who I know myself to be.
My baby deserves better. My husband deserves better. *I* deserve better.