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This Shall Begin A Night Of Facing A Fear~A Baby Step Toward....

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

TONIGHT SHALL BEGIN A NIGHT OF FACING A FEAR~A BABY STEP TOWARD....REACHING A GOAL!!!!!!! This has truly been a few hours of deep thought in wonder, dare I blog about this, or shall I NOT! HOW FORWARD SHOULD WE BE IN OUR BLOGGING? DO WE LAY IT ALL OUT THERE ON THE TABLE, OR HOLD THE MOST PAINFUL TO OURSELVES? LAYING ALL ON THE TABLE WON. Why in the world would I question this in the first place, when I have always been forth right, open, and honest about more than many would consider sharing????

It all lies in the fact that "reality bites," knowing that locals beyond who I've personally invited through the years are now part of spark. As most of you know, the hair stands on the back of my neck....with the thought of being talked about, rather than "spoken to." Thus would be my reason for wondering, dwelling, and finally resorting to prayer about "HOW OPEN" to be about this particular blog.

God bless the small town members of spark who actually follow me here, without my knowing, and have the "blessed courage to step forward, visiting WITH ME about this journey I am starting again." The Good Lord Knows which ones will be brave enough to encourage me, as well as admit they enjoy, look forward to, or are just astounded (ha) at all I openly post, and like wise he will be fully aware of those who whisper, avoid eye contact with me, AND can't wait to get to my page for the next "SCOOP~" to hash up with "THEIR LITTLE, OR LARGE GROUP." God Knows All, therefore I shall not worry.

Soooo On To Blogging I Go~ head held high, and looking forward to what ever shall come. God already knows, and he has this covered (Thank you Greg, for bringing that to my attention, even though it was something pertaining to your own life).

Tonight shall begin a night of facing a fear of mine~Darkness. It shall be a baby step toward reaching a goal. I've not yet fessed up how much I've back slid weight wise in the last year, but this blog will be a pretty darn good indication. With my husband out of town working, and my daughter still away on her fun summer get away, tonight I await the sun going down. As soon as it does, raining or not(right now there is thunder rolling in the distance), I aim to take off walking (slowly and carefully), in the darkness as not to be watched by many passers by, in the light of day.

Why in the world would I do this when I have a treadmill now? Welllll....I did a bit of manual reading today. I am at that boarder line max weight allowed. If any of you know about static weight, that is your own body weight times how ever many (I can't recall for sure), while moving. So if a piece of work out equipment says it will hold up to 200 lbs, adding full body movement to that will double or triple that weight. Yeahhhh....I'm not taking any chances with this precious gift. Tis time for me to face this serious fear of DARKNESS, drop at least 30-40 lbs. by night time walking, before I give that baby a work out with my body on it.

In past years, I've always been an early morning walker~meaning 4:30 am. It's dark at that time also, and I've lived through it~ emoticon. My pep talk had always been, before arriving back home dawn would be on the horizon, as the town was just starting to come to life for the day. This will be an entire different cup of tea; however my worries are small, as I know God will walk with me every step of the way. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon.....a baby step toward being able to use my emoticon feeling wonderful, that I've already achieved a 30-40 pound weight loss, and faced my fear of DARKNESS ALONG THE WAY!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers this night, and many nights following. This I Thank You For ALREADY!!!!! emoticon If I remember to do so, I will create another blog, when that beloved TREADMILL DAY ARRIVES~AND IT SHALL, OF THIS I HAVE NO DOUBT!!!! (SMILING SO BIG)

~SmilinDi~ emoticon
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  • no profile photo CD10752350
    Diane, how I love reading your blogs and I so know how you feel because I also am an early 4am walker and yes everyone is just getting up and getting started and I am already done with exercising and just love the feeling of a job well done.

    I love walking in the dark. That treadmill is waiting and will be used very soon and I am so glad to see you blooming and flowering into life and living life to the fullest till it over flows with activity and love and happiness and accomplishments and challanges and hard work.

    Praise God and in the name of Jesus it is done.
    3640 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10018622
    Some how I got knocked off your subscription. Correcting that right now. I am proud of you for facing this fear. Baby steps still will cross a thousand miles with a little more time. You can do it. I am praying for you. Hugs.
    3676 days ago
  • KAREN_01
    It seems I've been missing a few blogs!
    My dear Di, being three days later than your blog post, and night has fallen here - I am wondering how your walk went and if you are safe? Forgive me, I cannot help but worry a little bit, maybe I would have been less worried if I knew you had someone walking with you.
    I think many of us shares the same fear.
    I would just like to know how you are doing, OK? Just post an "I'm back" on your friend feed for us worry-bugs. :)
    3688 days ago
  • TERRYT55
    Hi Diane,

    I almost cried reading your blog........did you walk in the dark last night? I hope you had a cell phone and a flashlight. want to know you are home and safe today.

    Who cares what the neighbors think or talk about! I know your inner goodness shines no matter what your weight! That said, I understand how hard it is to see anyone I know if I've put on any lost pounds.......half my life I've spent hiding because I've lost and gained at least 1000 pounds in the last 35 years!

    Good for you for posting & walking. Can't wait till you can get on the treadmill!

    Take care, Terry
    3691 days ago
  • LESLIES537
    Diane,

    I came across your page from reading your ever so sweet comment on Warmspringday's page. I'm so glad that I did! You are a beautiful, sweet soul and so genuine. I think you're being very brave and I commend you for that! You're facing your fears head on and I think that's just awesome. Kudos to you!! Best of luck to you and if you don't mind, I'd love to be your friend. You are full of inspiration!

    God Bless,

    Leslie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3691 days ago
  • MICHELE99XX
    Dear Diane, Take your cell phone with you at least, k? I share the same fear of walking at dark with hubby and daughter not there for you. Why don't you wait till they get home? I worry bout this now, dear friend. Love you bunches, Michele
    3692 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9394210
    Are you sure it's safe to walk at night? I'd rather walk during the day and let the talkers talk! I've lost and gained so many times my neighbors don't really care anymore! emoticon
    3692 days ago
  • WARMSPRINGDAY
    Baby steps, my friend!
    3692 days ago
  • BIGDAD1211
    You can do it my friend!! emoticon . We all have to take those baby steps but they lead up to leaps and bounds! Darkness always gives way to the light and you my friend are a ray of sunshine to every life you touch!! I know you can do this and I am here if you need me!!
    In Jesus Name
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3692 days ago
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