December 23rd - Doing much better
Friday, December 23, 2011
I've had so much support, both here and elsewhere, and I just wanna say thank you to everyone who has helped and is helping me through this time; it's so genuinely appreciated. My greatest fear and source of stress is being alone, and now I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm not :-)
I've signed up for a few new group activities, here and elsewhere, and made some commitments to myself. Richard (the ex) knows where the lines are now between friendship and "ex" and we are doing very well; yesterday I helped him flat hunt, and today I'm helping him pack. We're interspersing it with doing things together as friends, such as playing computer games (a much more entertaining experience now that neither of us are stressed at offending the other by stealing their ammo on Halo!) and doing our own things that we were holding off on doing as a couple, such as him watching old documentaries he's been saving for months, not wanting to watch without me for fear of upsetting me but now knowing it's not so important. Not sure if that last part made sense but oh well.
Today I'm packing and having a pretty lazy day. It might sound like a bit of a cop-out but I'm putting my diet on hold for a while. We have lots of fresh fruit and veg (bought a huge box a couple of days ago) so I'm trusting myself to maintain. Also drinking lots of water. I've lost several inches around my body lately without realizing it; my waist has lost 4 inches, for instance, but I think I'm gaining weight. Maybe muscle, I don't know. Not much, just a lb or two, and only sometimes when I weigh myself. Basically, I'm maintaining my weight. So I'm not too unhappy about that.
Anyways, off to write my morning pages. Thanks again everyone; I'll thank you properly later.