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It's Been the Best of Times, It's Been the Worst of Times

Saturday, March 24, 2012

This week has been such an odd week. I was so glad for Weigh-In Wednesday to come and just log that I was up a pound. It felt good just to be done with it. I had struggled the previous week with getting enough sleep due to nightmares. Something was off and I just couldn't seem to fix it. I finally figured out that I was back, doing the negative self-talk. Realizing it, made it easy to fix. Getting the needed sleep helped too. It's much easier to be positive after a full night's sleep.

Wednesday evening my daughter's pediatrician called to tell us that she has severe scoliosis. I had been expecting a diagnosis of mild scoliosis, but definitely not severe. I can't tell you how bad I felt. I so wish I could have done something to prevent it, as at age 15, I am concerned that her options are limited. We have an appointment made with Gillette Children's on April 3rd. So, if she needs surgery, she will be at the best place I can find.

This probably sounds strange, but Thursday, we picked up a copy of her x-rays on disk. I felt relieved to see the x-ray of her spine. I had thought that the scoliosis was in her upper back, as I can see one shoulder isn't level. But, the scoliosis is actually in her lower back. It's kind kinked, 80% if I heard her doctor correctly. Although, she isn't in pain now, I want to do what ever we need to do to make sure she has a healthy, pain-free life. Also, after looking at her x-ray Cassie wanted to know if she would be taller. If they straightened out her spine, would she be maybe, 2 inches taller? Currently, she is 5 ft 5 inches tall to my 5'2". It's kind of funny to imagine me having a tall daughter of 5'7". The credit for the tall genes would definitely go to my Dad and my husband's Mom. I have so many questions, but I am trying to keep my mind open to all possibilities. I am afraid, though that she will need surgery.

Also, I have been checking my weight and it looks like I might be down 20 pounds on the next weigh-in Wednesday. I am definitely not counting it now, as weekends are not easy times for me. Even though, I weigh everyday it is always a surprise on weigh in day what I will weigh.

Today, I was outside raking the lawn for about 1 1/2 hours. A year ago, I would never have lasted that long and would have accomplished a quarter of what I did today. I also would have felt totally wiped out. Today, at the end I felt like singing, and to my son's embarrassment did! emoticon It makes me feel so good to know that the exercising I am doing is paying off.

The lesson learned this week is this: I need to spend less time focusing on the things I can not change, and more time focusing on new opportunities and what I am able to change.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who will do everything in her power to help her. Please keep us updated on her progress.

    Raking- isn't it nice to have more energy and stamina? You're doing great - and good for you to realize and stop the negative self talk.
    3418 days ago
    Sorry about the diagnosis, but it's inspiring to see you dealing with things and setting up an appointment for the best of care of your dd. keep taking care of your family and yourself!
    3419 days ago
  • MARTI1957
    I am sorry to hear the diagnosis is worse than you expected but the silver lining is that she is still young and hopefully can be corrected now instead of having problems in her adult life. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. emoticon -Marti
    3419 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11419325
    I am sorry to hear of your daughters condition. I am very hopeful they can do things for her that will spare her a lot of pain when she is older.

    Sorry also to hear of your slip back to negative self talk. That is so unfair of ourselves to do this to us. I am happy that you were able to correct that and start getting good sleep again.

    That is a good lesson to learn Julie because there are always going to be some things we have no power to change. It is what it is. Bravo to the knowledge that you can change some things!
    3419 days ago
  • LGAR519
    I have scoliosis. Although it has never been catagorized, I have to blame it for some of my back problems over the years. I'm glad y'all found your daughter's and will be getting it treated. I never knew I had it until 2002. It accounts for the way I walk also.
    3419 days ago
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