This week has been such an odd week. I was so glad for Weigh-In Wednesday to come and just log that I was up a pound. It felt good just to be done with it. I had struggled the previous week with getting enough sleep due to nightmares. Something was off and I just couldn't seem to fix it. I finally figured out that I was back, doing the negative self-talk. Realizing it, made it easy to fix. Getting the needed sleep helped too. It's much easier to be positive after a full night's sleep.
Wednesday evening my daughter's pediatrician called to tell us that she has severe scoliosis. I had been expecting a diagnosis of mild scoliosis, but definitely not severe. I can't tell you how bad I felt. I so wish I could have done something to prevent it, as at age 15, I am concerned that her options are limited. We have an appointment made with Gillette Children's on April 3rd. So, if she needs surgery, she will be at the best place I can find.
This probably sounds strange, but Thursday, we picked up a copy of her x-rays on disk. I felt relieved to see the x-ray of her spine. I had thought that the scoliosis was in her upper back, as I can see one shoulder isn't level. But, the scoliosis is actually in her lower back. It's kind kinked, 80% if I heard her doctor correctly. Although, she isn't in pain now, I want to do what ever we need to do to make sure she has a healthy, pain-free life. Also, after looking at her x-ray Cassie wanted to know if she would be taller. If they straightened out her spine, would she be maybe, 2 inches taller? Currently, she is 5 ft 5 inches tall to my 5'2". It's kind of funny to imagine me having a tall daughter of 5'7". The credit for the tall genes would definitely go to my Dad and my husband's Mom. I have so many questions, but I am trying to keep my mind open to all possibilities. I am afraid, though that she will need surgery.
Also, I have been checking my weight and it looks like I might be down 20 pounds on the next weigh-in Wednesday. I am definitely not counting it now, as weekends are not easy times for me. Even though, I weigh everyday it is always a surprise on weigh in day what I will weigh.
Today, I was outside raking the lawn for about 1 1/2 hours. A year ago, I would never have lasted that long and would have accomplished a quarter of what I did today. I also would have felt totally wiped out. Today, at the end I felt like singing, and to my son's embarrassment did!
It makes me feel so good to know that the exercising I am doing is paying off.
The lesson learned this week is this: I need to spend less time focusing on the things I can not change, and more time focusing on new opportunities and what I am able to change.