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What a day....

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

It has been quite the day today. Most of it was spent at the doctor's office. They ran two additional sets of x-rays at the office. It was neat that we were able to view them immediately in the exam room. I think it probably saved us several visits. It is just a rather large amount of information to absorb. Cassie has two curves in her spine, both 58%. So, she does need surgery. The plan is to fuse the upper part of the spine. This should help to correct most of the curve in the lower spine while allowing her to retain more flexibility. She should indeed be at least an inch taller after the surgery. However, this also means 5 days in the hospital. She will need pain meds for about two weeks total. So, now we are waiting for the nurse to call to schedule a time. We would like to have the surgery as soon as we can. Eric is going to work on finding out if insurance will cover the surgeon, hospital, etc. I am going to work on coordinating school work and finals with her surgery.

I called my Mom afterward to let her know about Cassie. Her first response is, then I can ride with you that day. I told her no. The surgery will take 3-4 hours, I don't want to have to worry about anyone but Cassie that day. She asked me if she could visit Cassie, I said yes.

About 30 minutes after I called, she called back to say that, Dad wanted his second set of keys to his van back at Easter or he wouldn't go. I said, "No". So, we will not be celebrating Easter with my parents. It was an instinctive reaction, said without even thinking. However, I think it is the right one. First off, Dad has a set of keys to the van, and in no way can I stop him from driving. So, if I give him the second set of keys, I am saying he is safe to drive. My Dad is an alcoholic and definitely does not belong behind the wheel of a car.

I think my Dad is angry with both his doctor and I. His doctor said she would give him one more chance, and if he behaves as he did last time, she will not sign him out of the nursing home next time. As much as I am glad Dad has a chance to go home, I think he will end of back again.

I feel so sad, my heart is breaking. My Dad is only 77 years old. He still has life ahead. I know with everything he has gone through there might not be a large amount of time. But each day we have should be treasured. Where I see possibilities he sees none. Where I see opportunities for happiness he sees none. As much as I love him, happiness is something we each must find for ourselves.
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  • LGAR519
    Sending thoughts and prayers to your Daughter,you and your family. My Dad was an alcoholic also. My family suffered for many years. My Dad lived to be 65 before Cancer got him but thank God he quit drinking and was Saved. It comforts me to know that he is in Heaven now and waiting to see my Mom, Brother and myself!!
    3409 days ago
  • MARTI1957
    Oh, Jules how my heart empathizes with your pain and suffering. You have made wise decisions regarding your father. It is tough love but necessary. You are correct that we choose our happiness, to be or not to be! Do not let the guilt rob you of any happy memories you have had with your family. It is his choice to drink, to be cruel and controlling.
    Now, about Cassie. Although you have a road ahead of you this is really good news. They can minimize any further curvature of her spine. She is young so will be more resilient in her recovery. You are a loving mother and she knows you are there for her.
    Know we are here for you through it all. Our Father God will be with you through it all. You are never alone emoticon -Marti
    3409 days ago
    Please keep us updated on the surgery and recovery. I'll be sending my best wishes your way.

    I'm sorry to hear about the parental problems. It's never easy to have to take that parent role away from your parents, but sometimes it has to be done. My dad died at the age of 70 after being an alcoholic for 50+ years (he dried out only once in that time), so I definitely understand your frustration at his wasting his life.

    It's sad, but there isn't much any of us can do unless they want to help/change themselves.

    And I'm so proud of you for keeping your upbeat attitude through it all.

    Huge emoticon
    3409 days ago
  • 7356WILMA
    Sorry you need to deal with parent problems instead of concentrating on your daughter. I know you will get it worked out, but it still doesn't make it easy!! Keep us updated on how your daughter is doing. Thoughts and prayers!!
    3410 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11419325
    Nice that all the xrays could be read right there right away.
    I have added your daughter onto our church prayer chain for healing and you for calmness and peace of mind over issues you are facing.

    I remember you saying that you did not want them to sign your dad out of the home....perhaps this is God's answer to you, as you do not think your dad will obey the doctors conditions.

    May God and his angels all watch over you and your family, take care
    3410 days ago
    I hope this surgery helps your daughter. I'll be thinking of you in the coming days.
    3410 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    So sad that your dad continues to be stubborn about the car keys, sure would make it easier for everyone if he lightened up and be thrilled he is getting one more chance. I happen to agree with you, giving him the other key would seem to him like you agree with him. Enjoying holidays together is always great memories---seems to me he isn't thinking of anyone but himself. Hope you and your family will still have a Happy Easter, even tho your parents won't be joining you.
    3410 days ago
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