I am my own worst enemy...
Thursday, April 19, 2012
I have come to realize at times this is very true. Just a forethought on the below. I'm not bashing myself and I am taking this all in stride. If I don't get some of my frustrations out then I'm not being human. I think that is what this journey is all about, the ups and downs.
So with that said....
In theory losing weight should be easy. You eat X, Y, and Z...all healthy things to fuel your body properly. You exercise X amount of times a week creating a calorie deficit and then the weight should come off right?
No.... it doesn't.
You know why? In the meantime, between journaling what I'm eating and thinking I'm doing good, I'm also eating chocolate in various forms. Its so dumb! I do the #1 thing I know better than to do....you can't outexercise a bad diet...or an excess of chocolate eggs. Yes I am getting rid of the Easter candy today. I may not throw it all out but I'm putting it in my Mom's apartment downstairs. *I* don't want to have such easy access to it.
I'm my own worst enemy at times. I know it happens to the best of us but until I get better control on this I'm never going to see weight drop and that is a reality. I know it can be done. I'm not after perfection just to find balance.
My other general rule is not to compare myself to others which is near impossible. Its a fine line between looking to someone for motivation and then turn around lamenting why can't it be me?!? In the spirit of that I had to leave a facebook group of fellow Sparkpeople. The group was filled with a few women that would either constantly lament (which I don't find is a good thing for me to constantly hear) or a few women that were dropping insane amounts of weight (like 30 in 30 days or consistently 3-4 lbs a week close to goal). Am I happy for the 2nd group, of course. Was it screwing with my head? A little...and that is my issue alone and not meant to make anyone feel bad. I had to do what is best for me. I've read in the past of where some people have had to walk away from Sparkpeople for similar reasons and while I'm not at that point I can see how someone would need to do that.
So now that I've gotten my frustrations out what am I going to do about it?
For one that candy has to go. There are some things I won't touch and that can stay upstairs but the other stuff I have to put in my Mom's house LOL.
For 2 I'm just going to keep on keeping on. I'm not giving up. I'm not surrendering. Every day I will strive to do the best I can for my body by why I put into it. I won't be perfect and that is ok but I'm going to try to do the best I can.
At some point I know something will click and I'll have found what works for me. I will find the balance that works for me. I am hoping with the Diet free lifestyle (eating frequently, watching sugar, and balancing meals with fast carbs, slow carbs, and protein) I am at the beginning of what is going to work for me.
So there ya go. I finally have something to really blog about. It wasn't pretty but that is where I am. BTW I rocked out 22 pushups on my toes yesterday LOL.