Back in 2006, my "saga" began with a visit to the ER. I'd never been diagnosed with or--knowingly-- experienced high blood pressure before, but I had this wicked headache... and it was because my BP was 210/120... and my pulse was 110... I didn't feel good. Turns out, my blood sugar was pretty high too... over 400. The good doctors were appalled that I'd been without insulin for 3 months, but I didn't have insurance, no job, no income, I was virtually homeless... they got me a bottle of Humalog, and an appointment with Medicaid.
Three days later, I was blind.
I could see light and colors, but not much else. Everything was a big blob of nonsense. I couldn't make a meal, I couldn't measure the precious insulin I'd just received... I was totally dependent on someone else for practically everything! It was hideous.
I was SO lucky, the damage was temporay. Once my issues were addressed, my eyes healed--for the most part, anyway. It took about three months, and they are still after all this time, weak. They tire easily, and probably always will. This last little scare has had me going back to what I'd experienced, revisiting those feelings, and I came across this:
"On Losing Visual Acuity
"I try to focus,
But all is a mass of shapes and colors
And there are no more edges…
There is no more definition
In my world.
The books that were my friends
Might as well be empty pages,
For though I can see the words,
I cannot tell what they are.
To read at an audition,
To build on the words and create life—
I am terrified.
What if I can’t get them back—
What if all I spent my life working for
Is no longer accessible?
And how will I edit my own words
If someone else must write them?
I pray for it to be temporary,
And I see my world clearly for the first time."
Copyright 2006 by Kathleen Braley
Sometimes it takes a crisis for us to appreciate what we have, y'know?
I count my blessings EVERY DAY... and you are all on my list!
My "big blue eyes" are so much more precious to me now! Here's lookin'g at ya! LOL