Wednesday, October 17, 2012
It's been a very long time since I've blogged or written, or even checked in to Sparkpeople, and I am ashamed of that. I have let a lot of my good habits slide over the past year and a half since my heart surgeries.
I am fortunate to say that I have been out substitute teaching since this past May, for two local school districts, and even taught Summer School for six weeks. So, work-wise, I am back on track. Health-wise, not so much lately.
I need to get my stress under control. Most recently (this past weekend) I was back in the hospital for a night due to a stress-related panic attack. I came home from a rather harsh day of subbing for a 4/5 class and they quite literally ran me over. My voice is not what it was previous to my surgeries and at the end of the day I had just given up, vowing not to return to that particular school for a while, if ever.
I believe that through exercise I can get back on track with controlling my stress levels. It is very difficult for me to let things go, and I had replayed the scenes from throughout the day over and over in my head until I nearly lost it. That is when I realized that learning to let go of what I cannot control would benefit my life moving forward. But that is easier said then done!
So, with that said, I will start slowly, and not on the first day of the week like I usually do to keep things nice and neat on the calendar. No- I am going to start just walking for a half hour three times a week and take it slow. I see my cardiologist in November, as well as my therapist, who will probably chastise me for not using any of the suggestions she has been telling me about for the past year but oh well! Better late than never I say!! :)
It's all about mindsets, and if I try and focus on the positives, like staying alive and not stressing out my heart every time I head into a classroom, I'll be just fine.
Hopefully there are others like me out there who can share my pain, my struggles and help me move forward through all this stuff! :)