Slipping Backwards Mentally
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
I figure so many more things out when I write, although I have no idea why. I started writing a journal entry to myself a little while ago and realized why I'm struggling so much recently. I'm slipping backwards mentally. I have almost an all or nothing mentality anymore. I feel like nothing I do is enough, so why bother. I don't just mean with being healthy, with everything. I feel like I'm in a hole physically, financially, socially that I will never crawl out of.
I have become incapable of breaking things up into manageable chunks or being happy with small steps and small improvements. I'm not sure exactly why I am back in this place mentally. I was doing really well and was making a great deal of progress but it all seems to have gone out the window.
Even this blog feel insufficient to me. I feel like I'm rambling, like I have no point or no focus to it. It's not a fun feeling. I feel like I should have an answer, be able to plan it all out and figure it all out and make it all better and yet it isn't that simple I know.