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Wednesday, November 06, 2013

I don't even know where to start.

I've tried to write this blog a dozen times over the past several months, each time no easier than the time before.

I've noticed the absence of some of my Spark friends in the past and I've wondered what happened to them. Some I know are active on other sites or Facebook. Some have gotten their weight and lives under control and don't need the support Sparkpeople provides. Some I have no idea where they went or what happened to them. One friend was in an abusive relationship and I can't help but wonder... Another friend, a new mother, died. Some, like myself simply get busy, and life happens.

Well... I'm back.

I'm back, but I'm not the same person I was when I went AWOL.

On August 21st, eleven weeks ago today, I lost the love of my life. I lost my best friend and partner in crime. My boyfriend of just over 10 years was killed in a motorcycle accident. Mark was traveling home after taking a ride on a beautiful, hot afternoon, when the driver of a pick up truck made a left turn in front of him. I don't know if the driver simply did not look, or if he just thought he had time to make the turn, but whatever happened, his left turn changed my life forever.

I'm not looking for sympathy or advice, and I'm not entirely ready to answer questions regarding Mark's accident. The reason for my blog is to give a partial explanation for my absence. If you're a believer, I could use your prayers. If you're a hater, just avoid me - I've been through enough.

I don't believe that "time heals." I do believe that I'll adjust.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MSHEL7
    So sorry to hear of your loss, I don't know you, but my heart aches. I can't imagine losing my man. I'm a believer so I'll be praying for peace and comfort in your life.
    2743 days ago
  • BAKER1009
    Kelli, I am deeply saddened to read this. I sit here with tears in my eyes and my heart aches for you. My friend, I do not even know what to say, but you can betcha that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I only wish I had known sooner and could have been here for you more.
    I am very busy with the kiddos these days, but I do check in almost daily. I just don't comment always. My point is, if you need me, I am a click away.
    emoticon emoticon
    2743 days ago
    Hi Kelli - Sorry that you are having so much heartache right now - I will pray for you...pray for strength to adjust...yes...time heals - but it also stands still when you are in pain.

    Take Care and please keep in touch.

    2743 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13564730
    Oh...I feel so badly for you...My deepest sympathy..... You have been through so much....Here's hoping that you feel stronger each day...I will pray for you .....God bless you. emoticon
    2744 days ago
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