Tuesday, May 19, 2015
I had a very disappointing day today. I made plans to connect with a new friend (well, potential new friend - I don't really know her yet) after some family time. But my husband stepped out to run an errand and stayed out all day. I had to cancel my plans to stay home with our son, who was in kind of a cranky mood.
I felt really disappointed. And I kind of lost my temper when I asked my husband to tell me his plans so I can manage my time, and he got mad at me. It felt like a last straw moment.
At first, I started to throw myself into busy-ness. But I stopped, and really just experienced my feelings. I took the time to feel my disappointment and ask what my soul really needed. I found the need for connection, and power over my own schedule and choices to be painful and overwhelming. But I didn't run away from it. I just let myself grieve.
And then, when my evening outing was done, and I knew the family would be heading to bed by the time I got home, I was enjoying the sunset so much, I just revelled in the moment and found my peace. I slowed down - strolled, really - breathed deeply, drank in the mountains, the orange and purple wispy clouds, the fresh smell in the air, like it's about to rain.
And then I came home and pulled out my bike for the first ride of the season. I didn't go far, because there wasn't much time before dark. But I had a lovely stroll. It felt like a powerful act to take back a day that was stolen from me. (Not to be dramatic or anything. LOL)
And now that I have redeemed my day, I'm celebrating my choice. I was kind to myself today. I was strong and courageous. I was creative. And I put myself back in the driver's seat.
I'm going to get my life back. One sunset bike ride at a time.