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Filling out the paperwork

Monday, October 05, 2015

So yesterday I met with my husband in a coffee shop yesterday to fill out the divorce paperwork. We spent about 20 minutes looking at the mountain of paperwork before giving up and paying for LegalZoom. It's sort of like TurboTax, but for divorces. Since our divorce is simple, at least in terms of divorces, it worked.

I felt surprisingly unemotional throughout the whole thing. It was a very business-like interaction. I think I was just sorting through so much legal stuff that it distracted me from what we were actually doing. It took us about an hour and a half to slog through it all. Now it's all being processed and the forms will come in the mail in a couple weeks or so.

As we were checking our accounts and recording our various assets and debts, two things were readily apparent: I have a s**tload of student debt (which I knew, but adding it all up was still shocking), and my husband is flat broke. He just got paid a few days ago, but after bills he has less than $30 to survive on for the next couple weeks. Part of me pities him, part of me says I shouldn't since he chose this for himself, and then part of me is sad and hurt and upset because he doesn't want to be with me so much he'd rather live like this.

I also went to a support group. It was the optional group dinner kick-off and preview, and the "group" part was missing. For the first hour it was me and the group leaders. One other person came in an hour later. It was super awkward. They said they did have more people registered for the group, and since this night was optional I'm hoping the others will show later this week.

I actually felt like I was a bigger, weepier ball of emotions after the "group" meeting than before. I've been swamped with work and school lately though, so I have admittedly been distracted and kept from facing things. I hope that maybe in a couple weeks or so I will get actual time off to process things; unfortunately the current work situation won't let me get time off sooner. We'll see how things play out, I guess.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    When the paper work is finished then the reality of it all settles in. You are correct in saying he is choosing this. Remember that. It wasn't you, it was something he wanted. Be strong, keep working on making a better you. The group will probably be better as you get to know more of them on other nights. Hang in there!
    2126 days ago
    I wish you the best of luck. I'm still pondering divorce as well.
    2129 days ago
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