The True Secret to Weight Loss
Sunday, December 06, 2015
I found it. The TRUE secret to weight loss. It isn't what you would think, and it isn't pleasant. Crutches. Very simple, and very miserable. And you know, they are much more difficult to use than they look. Why do I think these are the secret to weight loss??? Let me explain.
First off, they are hard work. Every single step takes a lot of energy. My surgeon was apparently not kidding when he said I would wake up with very large cast- I believe the phrase he used was "think fire hydrant". Upper body strength is not a quality I have (yet, anyway). I remember being envious of grade school classmates with broken legs because crutches looked relly fun. Well they aren't. Maybe they are easier when you are a kid because you have less mass to propel forward and haul around. And because your unenlightened little classmates are envious of you.
Secondly, they give new meaning to "Mindful Eating". I really haven't found any food in my kitchen compelling enough to crutch to the kitchen. I even have a small house- I can't imagine if I had stairs to contend with or a ginormous house to trek across. When I think I might have the subtle pangs of hunger I have to think it through- "Is it worth it?", "Am I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?". My answer is inevitably no, it's not worth it and yes I am way too tired to embark on the journey, especially since I make an effort to keep a kitchen devoid of yummy snacks and treats. It's just not worth it. For now it is ok as my appetite seems to have evaporated but when it returns I may be sending Facebook requests for food.
And lastly, transporting food has proved to be challenging. Seriously- how do you do it? You need your hands to hold on to the crutches and since I am completely non-weight bearing on my right leg, there is no way to do it outside of asking for help, of course, but since my husband had to quit his home nursing care job yesterday (but an exceptional job he did- admittedly I might not be the easiest patient...) and return to his paying job, I have been trying to be self-sufficient. So, eating a quick yogurt while leaning on a crutch in the kitchen has become my new norm. Forget trying to transport an open cup of a nice, hot steamy liquid. I have figured out that I can fit a 16 ounce water bottle in the pocket of the one pair of shorts I have to wear so that was a big help (and luckily the So Cal weather is conducive to wearing shorts right now). Not gonna lie though, I do miss my coffee but I'm not willing to risk a nasty burn, or worse. Maybe I need to try filling that water bottle with coffee??? Chilled coffee?
So, as effective as crutches likely are for weight loss (I don't really know how effective though because of the fire hydrant at the end of my leg), it is a sucky way to go. I would much rather eat and balance it with a more tolerable form of exercise. As this was the driving force behind having my surgery, I will just have to be patient. And hungry.