finding a balance
Sunday, February 07, 2016
4 years ago when I lost my weight I was an all or nothing girl. I was 100% 100% of the time. And it worked tremendously well for me, I lost 65 lbs! However after meeting, dating, moving in with, merging lives, and becoming engaged to my wonderful fiance, I gained 55lbs! I would not change the way this happened, I have thoroughly enjoyed every last second of it! I wish I could have experienced it all without a huge weight gain but it is what it is and I can't go back and change that I can only improve from this point forward. I was a vegetarian for 2 years and when I went back to eating meat I slowly got lazier and felt more weighed down and just plain gross! The change was so gradual I didn't even realize the way I actually felt only that I was gaining weight which made me feel worse! In 2013 I had a blood clot caused by my birth control that shot into my lung and landed me in the hospital followed by doctors orders not to exercise for 30 days. I made an effort to get back into my routines after the 30 days but never got back to 100%. Ì've come to realize that at this point in my life 100% all the time is probably not a realistic expectation, but 90% is probably doable. I now have family, including 2 future step kids every other week. With 3 busy boys, a fiance, and 2 dogs to care for its going to be a tougher journey than before but I am ready to take on the challenge! I've been having a couple of really rough weeks at work and experiencing ALLOT of back pain. Pain to the point I can hardly move when I get home, I'm only 32 so this is absolutley unexceptable! I accidently went meatless 4 days ago. That night was the worst of my pain, also I was very irritated by everything (thank god the fiance is so understanding! ). The next day my pain was diminishing, I was probably at 75%, and felt decent, I continued to avoid meat. Yesterday the pain was even less and I was feeling around 90% or so, again i skipped meat. Today NO PAIN! This has helped me realize my body is best suited for vegetarianism, it might not be for everyone but it is definitely for me! Now back to weight watchers tomorrow and taking back my life! I will have ups and downs, we will go out with friends and I won't always be 100% perfect, I will miss work outs. But I will not give up when I'm not perfect, I will accept it and move on, I will come out on top once again!!