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Musings on weight loss, quality of life and regrets.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Last Saturday night we attended a party hosted by one of my husband's Rotary friends and his wife. We have been to their house for many parties over the years and their foods is always the most scrumptious event in town! SO good! As it turns out, we have not seen this couple for several months now as we have all been busy. As usual, their country home was beautiful and the hosted bar, along with the snacks set out presented a very inviting atmosphere. But the thing that immediately struck me, was the appearance of the hostess. She was wearing the same hairstyle she has worn for years, but there was something so very different about her. In the past she has always been friendly enough, but pretty casual and kind of stayed in the background while her husband took care of the party. But this time she looked amazing, was in a fashionable outfit, wearing sandals with heels and nice jewelry and she was out there mixing with people as they arrived. And that is when it hit me. She has lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw her. And she was now a completely different person. It was incredible and actually pretty sobering realizing how much her life had changed for the better since her weight loss. The rest of the evening it was all I could do to not stare at her and watch her every move because the change was SO striking! And frankly, I have continued to think about it ever since then. I have always know that weight gain and/or loss has an impact on people and how they live their life, but I guess I have never observed since a stark contrast before. She literally changed her life by losing weight! And I was just seeing the outward evidence of it! I am sure that her overall health has improved greatly as well. That's pretty incredible and pretty inspiring when you think about it!

And another thought process for me lately. I guess I am spending too much time thinking! :)

I can't remember how much I have mentioned in my blogs, but for the past three years I have been dealing with my boss's failing health. He came down with a viral infection that settled in his lungs and caused complete respiratory failure exactly three years ago in March. And the respiratory failure caused heart damage. I have heard (although he doesn't seem to want to talk about it) that he also has COPD. And all of the above aggravated his Crohn's disease. It hasn't been a pretty picture. He is about 61 years old and has to be on oxygen almost 100% of the time. He is in and out of the hospital and in pain constantly. He went from riding snow mobiles and dirt bikes and fishing all the time, to barely being able to come to work. And as his employee, it has been a very, very tough ride. The extra work because he is gone - that I can deal with easily. In fact, I have become a pro at that. However, the reality of being on oxygen and all sorts of medications is that it changes a person. He has become known as the "grumpy old man" in our office complex because he is always out of sorts about every little thing. I deal daily with mood swings, agitation over every little thing, micro-managing constantly (which is especially hard when I ran the office for almost a year when he first got sick all by myself) and going back and forth between being super religious to the point where it is extremely uncomfortable (even though I am myself religious) and being super down in depression. And then there are the days that he "corrects" me in front of clients... and he is wrong.... so I have to figure out how to deal with it without discrediting him, but making sure the client gets correct information. A super proud male who feels like he is losing it, is not a pretty picture. Oh yeah. The whole situation has worn me down to a point of total frustration with life.

And my point behind this whole back story? He smoked heavily his whole life. And if watching him isn't incentive to never touch a cigarette, I don't know what is. And my connection to weight loss and health? I am sure he knew all along that for the sake of his health he should quit smoking. And he didn't, and now all he can do is wish desperately that he had, back when he could have and still had time to save his health. So what if I do that same thing with weight loss? I know that being overweight is not good for my health. I know that long term it will have a negative impact. Do I want to end up with my health ruined down the line desperately wishing that I had done something when I could have? Sure, losing weight does not in any way guarantee a long healthy life. But it does guarantee not living with regrets. The "if onlys" that can haunt a person later in life.

And so with all these thoughts and musings in my head, I am working hard to lose weight. One pound at a time.

Puppy went to work with me last Friday. I think she had a good time!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm a little late to the party but those are some great thoughts! I especially like the thought about regrets and "Only ifs". For a few years, I was drinking way too much and too often and I knew that if I didn't stop that there would be serious health consequences to deal with. Your blog reminded me that I need to be cautious and consistent with my life choices with forward thinking and mindfulness. Thank you for taking the time to write out your thoughts. Appreciated.
    Btw, you look great in that picture with your dog!
    Keep up the great work!
    1617 days ago
    Fantastic observations! Reading that I wonder of anyone saw that in me as I went through my transformation. I really think that weight-loss can bring out a person's confidence, even though they may never have thought it was lacking before.
    1738 days ago
    Wow - great observations.

    1741 days ago
    I am sorry about all the tension at work, but I totally hear what you're saying regarding health & consequences. It's so easy to put off changes because they're hard. In the long run if it's going to make your quality of life better than keep at it one pound at a time! Love your picture!
    1749 days ago
    By the way....lovely photo of that beautiful face and smile and puppy of course! emoticon
    1752 days ago
    Oh, my beautiful friend, I am SO happy I came across your blog today! EXACTLY what I needed to hear!

    You have made a fantastic parallel for health versus sickness and the reasons we get ourselves in one situation or another!

    I was mesmerized with the description of your friend and how she moved about the crowd after her weight loss and equally riveted by the description of your boss and the impact his poor health has had upon his quality...well LACK thereof...of life! I am sorry he has displaced his unhappiness and frustrations onto you...stay strong and know that it not merited!

    I have found that I am increasingly unhappy and upset with myself over this weight gain quagmire and I have to come to the conclusion NOTHING is going to change for the better if I don't take the bull by the horns and decide to do something about it myself!

    I will revisit this blog or maybe even print it out...for renewed inspiration and I'm sending you tons of motivation and love and light to be successful on emoticon your own healthy journey!
    1752 days ago
    We all need to see the difference making big changes can make in ones life. How inspiring for you to get a chance to be around someone who made a big weight change and in the process changed their attitudes.
    We could all make positive changes!
    Sorry though that you are having to deal with the repercussions of someone else not taking care of themselves. I need to remember this myself. It's going to be easier to change a bad habit than it will be to live with the results of not changing it.
    1755 days ago
    I'm so sorry your boss's health issues have added so much extra tension to your work environment. Thank there are days you can bring your furbaby with you. Great picture! Congratulations on taking steps to empower yourself and optimize your health. emoticon
    1755 days ago
    So lovely that you were inspired by your friend:) Hope your boss feels better and you find comfort at work. Love the pic!
    1756 days ago
    I met a lady a few years back named Marilyn who was very sweet and caring and there was such a peace in her presence. A few years later, I was visiting in the area and a woman whom I didn't recognize at all came up to me and said she was Marilyn and I had met her before , etc., but I couldn't figure out who she was. There was an edge to her and a hardness. She was a big lady. Eventually some other friends told me it was the same Marilyn but that when I first met her it was in a brief period of time when she had temporarily lost a LOT of weight and she quickly gained it all back. It was a shame to see the metamorphosis you described in reverse.
    Sorry your boss is so difficult. What an awful situation!
    1756 days ago
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    I know when I was younger and lost 105 lbs., I went from a wallflower to the life of the party. I enjoyed life so much more when I was much thinner. Now I'm heavier than I was at my heaviest back then and it's hard getting it back of. And it makes me ashamed I've let myself get to this point.
    As for your boss; I can understand so well what he's going through. My husband went from a 2 pack a day habit and being very active to an extremely obese man on oxygen 24/7 and a severely damaged heart and some lung damage. He's grumpy 75% of the time yet fights tooth & nail when I try to get him to follow doctor's orders. emoticon
    1756 days ago
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    Great blog!! It does sound like your friend did a lot of mental/mind changing work on her own in addition to losing the weight. I agree that losing weight is an added plus and it certainly can help to boost confidence, but I'm also a big believer that losing weight is not a *finger snap* "cure" if you have bad self-esteem, etc. I see it too often that people who just have a disdain for themselves will work so hard, lose the weight, and they STILL find fault and put themselves down. It sounds like your friend had a good and healthy way of going about it. Kudos to her on her success and newly found confidence. I know you've said this before too and I agree...I think dressing nicely and presenting yourself nicely can work wonders too. It's amazing how making effort in looking nice can translate into an extra spring in your step and better mood.

    Wow! I did not realize your boss was so unhealthy...and unfortunately, you get the brunt of his unhealthiness with regard to how he acts at work. How sad his life must be. :-( It sure is a good reminder that doing what we can to ensure we stay healthy helps in more ways than one. He's a shining example of how one does not want to be in their 60s. Yikes. If that's not incentive to take care of oneself, I don't know what is. I'll be posting about something similar later today. ;-)

    I'm so glad to read your blog. I love your blogs. :-) It's been awhile so I was delighted when I saw it pop up in my friend feed.
    1756 days ago
    Great blog! We need to take care of ourselves. I am sure the hostess felt amazing at the party, and it showed. Use that motivation to move forward. I am doing that with a picture I saw. We can do this. One pound at a time.
    1756 days ago
    Each of us makes choices good or bad that will always reflect the quality of our lives. Your friend who lost weight sounds like she did some internal work in herself. Losing weight is just an added plus. We are all teachers to some extent here.
    1756 days ago
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    It crazy how weight loss/gain affects us. I know I used to dress very differently when I was heaver, baggy clothes and not the style I would want I shopped for what covered me. Now I can buy things I want and dress the way I want, I also noticed I started putting more effort into my hair/make up. Good job on taking it one pound at a time...same here one slooooow pound at a time lol
    1756 days ago
    You're so right. Losing weight is a must for good future health. We can do it! Let's keep pushing. One step at a time. Your story really got me thinking; so inspiring.
    1756 days ago
    Great blog. Your puppy is beautiful. I am envious that you can bring her to work with you. You both look happy. :-)
    1756 days ago
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